Anorak News | A Windsor Is Decapitated And Prince Harry Lights Up

A Windsor Is Decapitated And Prince Harry Lights Up

by | 23rd, May 2007

windsors.jpgNEWS that Barbara Windsor has been decapitated both saddens and sickens us in Anorak Towers.

And the Sun’s story that this lopping off was enacted by a squaddie from the same regiment as Princes William and Harry sends a chill down our spine.

Can it be that Windsor’s executioner became upset at the realisation that all soldiers are not that same? Has the news that soldiers Harry and Wills are not required to do any actual fighting caused one of their legion to react against the perceived injustice and attack the nearest Windsor in the most awful way?

We journey to a marquee in Thorpe Park Surrey. Wills and Harry are not in attendance, what with their being too senior.

Drinks are poured. Spirits are high. Barbara Windsor arrives. There is much groping of the acting Windsor and photos are taken. “But one of them took it a bit too far and snapped poor old Barbara’s head off,” says a witness.

But as we make ready for the inquiry and fret over Army brutality, and how our boys have picked up some unfortunate habits from the Islamicist enemy, we learn that Babs is fine.

This is not the EastEnders actress at all but a waxwork effigy supplied by Madame Tussauds.

Lucky indeed for the vengeful squaddie.

And an idea – why not despatch the waxwork Harry to Iraq? To instil fear in the enemy we suggest sticking a wick in Harry’s copper crown and in the dead of night, with the fighting at its fiercest, place him on casters, set him ablaze and send him out into the fray.

If the theme song to EastEnders could be blared out at the same time, then so much the more terrifying…

Posted: 23rd, May 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink