Anorak News | Big Brother’s Jade Goody Is On the Celebrity Train

Big Brother’s Jade Goody Is On the Celebrity Train

by | 13th, June 2007

jades-new-perfume.jpgDID Jade Goody take offence when Big Brother’s Emily Parr called Charley a nigger?

Goody the Hoody is a mix of black and white blood. Indeed, when OK! trails “Jade Goody and family” we wonder if she will appear with her more ethnic roots on show.

But no. All we get is the same orange-skinned Jade, posing for pictures with her teenaged lover Jack Tweed and children Popadum and Fuckawallah.

Says Jack: “She’s the least racist person I know” – a comment that doesn’t reflect well on Jack’s pool of friends or family – “I mean her dad is mixed race.” So Jade just hated and bullied Shilpa for being Shilpa. And people of mixed race cannot be racist.

Jade’s Little Shilpa

With that cleared up we return to Jade, who has a little Shilpa in her tum-tum. No, not a kebab with curry sauce. Well, not just that. Amid the detritus of a Goody night out, a new life form is brewing.

“A baby!” screams OK!. “What a surprise! After your terrible year, it must be like godsend…

Having facedown Davina McCall (“What’s it like to be misunderstood”), Jade is now faced with OK!. She copes admirably.

Jade tells us that she doesn’t not need to have baby to “stay on the celebrity train”. The 2:30 from Elstree, calling at the Priory, Max Clifford Towers and OK!, does not operate a segregation policy, allowing only pregnant Jades aboard ahead of, say, Indians and dogs. Jade’s Big Brother season ticket comes wrapped in a bubble of gassy fun.

“It seems pregnancy is the first good thing to happen to you this year,” says OK.
Says Jade: “Things were starting to turn around before I got pregnant.” Oh? “I changed my agent and I have had loads to offers.”

Offers like “Why don’t you just f*ck off?”, “Can’t you just f*ck off?” and “What would it take to make you f*ck off?”

Jade says she’s been offered a “few shows”.

Shaggy Jade – It Wasn’t Me

So has she been forgiven for all that bigotry and bullying? “The papers put ideas in people’s head. The public forgot what I actually said came from other housemates.”
Indeed. If Shilpa Shetty hadn’t been on Big Brother and remained in her own country, as Danielle Lloyd suggested, Jade could not have been so badly portrayed. If anyone is to blmae, blame her.

“But would I have got into trouble if I’d called an Irishman Mr Haggis?” she asks. Well, yes Jade, if it is intended to debase them.

Of course this is Jade not asking a question but being ‘Jade’ from “East Angular”. This is the worldly-wise Jade, the media-savvy girl with a new agent and a baby bump in OK! trying to emulate her greatest career moments and redefine the Jade brand.

But it fails. Jade fails. She is hard to like. But that doesn’t mean we won’t watch her…

Posted: 13th, June 2007 | In: Celebrities Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink