Anorak News | Michael Barrymore On Suicide Watch And Not Al-wight

Michael Barrymore On Suicide Watch And Not Al-wight

by | 15th, June 2007

barrymore.jpgMICHAEL Barrymore is back in the news. This is the “BARRYMORE TAPE SENSATION”.

Michael is sitting down with Tony Cowell, brother to talent show TV impresario Simon Cowell. Tony is interviewing Barrymore for the TV star’s autobiography, possibly entitled ‘Top, Middle & Bottom’.

But things do not go well. As the Mirror says a row scuppers the project. So Tony hands the tapes over to the police. Not in any way to get revenge or to whip up interest in the book, but in the interests of justice.

The Bottom

Stuart Lubbock has been found dead at Barrymore’s mansion. It is 2001 and Barrymore is TV’s cheeky chappie. Barrymore is arrested. He is bailed. He is cautioned for possessing cannabis. “You can call me a lousy entertainer but you can’t call me a killer,” says Barrymore.

He should have said “You can call me a killer, you can call me what you like, so long as you call”. ITV scraps Barrymore’s TV show. Barrymore goes to live in New Zealand among the sheep. He then returns to live in the Celebrity Big Brother house among Jodie Marsh.

The Middle

Tony Cowell explains that he met a certain DC Darren Jones in a restaurant in Soho. He handed over the tapes. Says he: “I told him there was nothing new on them.”

So why then is Barrymore “ON SUICIDE WATCH,” as the Sun’s front page announces? Why is he in a police cell following an arrest over allegations of sexual assault and murder?

michael-barrymore.jpgAnd if the tapes are, as the Sun says, “confidential”, how can it that the paper is able to transcribe them, affording its reader such details as: “It was his eyes that I was fixed on. They for some reason gave the illusion of being wider than they should be and staring through the water at the night sky.”

And: “Two girls emerged form the lower end of the garden and immediately let out the kind of scream that only girls can make.” Girls and light entertainers dressed in a tutu and dancing round the stage on their hands. Barrymore was ever modest.

Lubbock’s body is removed. The Mail notes that three of four pathologists who examined the cadaver found “sever internal injuries” caused by a large object being forced up the deceased’s rectum. Barrymore says the injuries were caused by a rectal thermometer used by doctors trying to revive his guest, or “a necrophiliac attack in the mortuary”.

And now we have the “secret tapes”. But a “source” within Essex police tells the Sun that the arrests of Barrymore and two other men were planned a week before the tapes were handed over.

Which suggest the tapes are less than the sensation the Mirror makes them out to be.

Barrymore is till talking. He says: “Stuart was taking drugs and drinking, which he did on a regular basis. He wasn’t tricked or forced into it. He went in the pool when nobody else wanted to go in.”

The Top

A man is dead.

But the Sun is keen to not overlook another victim in this sorry tale. A person said to be close to Barrymore tells the paper: “He is filming a pilot show in which a contestant become a millionaire playing a bingo game. He will be devastated.”

Settle down people – a man’s TV career is at stake here…

Posted: 15th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (43) | TrackBack | Permalink