Anorak News | A Nasty Thing Happened On the Way To The Big Brother Forum

A Nasty Thing Happened On the Way To The Big Brother Forum

by | 23rd, July 2007

CHARLEY must have very big lungs.

If it wasn’t for her smoking and the need to expel all air, Charley would by now have taken just two breaths.

Gerry (22-1 to win) says Charley (out to 99-1) has a “poosnous tong”. She has. She is foul.

And she is crying. Charley is in the Diary Room. She has said that Gerry conducts illegal acts of a sexual nature with underage boys.

Gerry is offended. And Charley is crying. She has been found out. Like all bullies, Charley cannot take being exposed. So she cries.

She then goes into the house and cries some more. One of the Midwich Cuckoos comes over and strokes her hand. Tracey says something about Charley being phat. She cries some more.

She then goes into the garden and pulls her face into the mirror, the one Sonia on EastEnders uses when telling Martin about her coursework.

And Charley goes into the house. And with her victim status established, tells Brian: “With Gerry, I don’t feel like I can join in with the conversation ’cause it’s nothing that revolves me. I’m not being horrible, ’cause he’s a nice guy, but he’s so uninteresting that Carole even forgot she gave him a dinner! Now that’s deep.”

She is, of course, being horrible. Being horrible is what makes Charley the celebrity she hopes to be. She then tells Liam that you “can’t relate to him”.

But neither Brian nor Liam point out to Charley that she has argued with them. She has argued with everyone. But no-one tells her. No-one can be bothered. If they ignore her she will go away. If they nominate her and we vote for her, it will all be over.

So they remain quiet. Charley is the annoying, antagonistic voice on the forums, the one who spoils every conversation with gratuitous and offensive comments. Go away, we hope. Please go away. If we don’t talk to them, they will leave.

Like the website Forum spoiler, Charley seeks out a row to validate her existence. She wants to be noticed.

But who would look twice? Her comments on being gorgeous are delusional. She is wholly unexceptional.
And she is on her way out. Look for Charley to go. She will not win, not know she has overstepped the mark. She has no chance. Phat chance…

Posted: 23rd, July 2007 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink