Anorak News | Ten Reasons Why Gordon Brown Is Not David Cameron

Ten Reasons Why Gordon Brown Is Not David Cameron

by | 13th, August 2007

blair_brown_harman.jpgTHE Mirror gives Gordon Brown a “PERFECT 10”. (Pic: Beau Bo D’Or)

And it has 10 reasons why Brown’s Better than Cameron:

1. “Because he’s cool in a crisis” – Has David Cameron presided over a Foot and Mouth crisis? No. Will he? Not a chance! Only new Labour PMs have that honour.

2. “Brown says what he means and does what he says – As Chancellor he promised to reform the economy and delivered.” And not just the UK’s economy. Brown voted for invading Iraq, as did Cameron. But it was Brown who delivered up the cash for so much fighting, melting boots and non-firing guns.

3. “Cameron will say anything to get into office” – Gordon Brown is not about spin. He cancelled his holiday in English Dorset to “take charge” of the crisis (see 1). He is the antithesis of spin. He is straight. And here he is to tell us about it. He’s dressed in white teeth and Wellington boots.

4. “Cameron is all PR and no trousers” – Brown has a kilt.

5. “Brown is a man of the people – The PM grew up in a household where an understanding of injustice was instilled from birth” – Brown’s father was a chippy Church of Scotland minister who built up his own business from scratch, took on the unions and forged his way in the real world.

6. “Brown is a grown-up – After Cameron became leader, he spent much of his time showing off in the media about his trendy trainers and love of pop bands such as the Killers.” Gordon says the Arctic Monkeys on his iPod “really wakes you up in the morning”, although he can’t recall any of their songs just this minute (see 3).

7. “Brown has a top team” – Brown has at least seven Milibands, four members of the Balls household and Tim Miliband-Henman. Cameron has Antony-Armstrong Jones, Harry Enfield’s Tim Nice But Dim and a man who once led the Charge Of The Currant Buns at St Cakes in 1926.

8. “Cameron’s troops are revolting. The Tories remain divided with furious right-wringers already plotting to topple Cameron.” The Tories are a mess. Labour is on-message and speaks with a single voice, like the Stepford Wives repeating a pre-installed mantra.

9. “Brown has a formidable brain” – My brain is bigger than your brain.

10. “Brown is a footie fan – Raith Rovers fan Brown is desperate to ensure England and Scotland host the 2018 World Cup” – This way Scotland will qualify, so too England. “Cameron prefers fox hunting” – so do many Scotland and England fans who have the misfortune of watching their sides play.

Bring on the foxes!

Posted: 13th, August 2007 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink