Anorak News | Today’s Lapander: Kelly Simpson Introduces Dannii Minogue

Today’s Lapander: Kelly Simpson Introduces Dannii Minogue

by | 27th, August 2007

danni-minogue-lapdancer.jpg“DANNII WAS SO TURNED ON SHE BEGGED ME FOR MORE!”

This is the kind of wild fantasy that you normally only hear when the work experience boy has just given Old Mr Anorak his afternoon crack pipe.

Yet here we have a responsible national newspaper repeating these extraordinary claims.

The allegation is made by “shapely Kelly Simpson”, a former lap dancer at The Number 10s Club in Cardiff. Here she encountered the diminutive Dannii Manogue, who “PAID ME FOR LESBIAN SEX SHOW” and “BEGGED ME FOR MORE”.

And that’s about all you need to know really.

Or is it? We at Anorak believe in looking beyond the headlines and getting to the truth of the matter.

It appears that the pint-sized X Factor judge did indeed visit the establishment in question, and that Kelly did indeed perform for her celebrity customer.

Whether a solitary dancer can single-handedly constitute a lesbian sex show is debatable, but let’s not split hairs.

The further claims are more dubious, however.

Although the paper claims that “the Aussie star was completely smitten”, it is hard to find any evidence that she “begged for more”.

Kelly says that she asked Dannii: “You want another dance, don’t you?”

The miniature minx giggled – not necessarily an indication of begging – and the dance proceeded. She then gave Kelly her money and thanked her for the dance, adding, “I think you’re stunning.”

“It made me feel a million dollars,” says Kelly, although the actual transaction was thirty pounds – about $60.

Nevertheless, a seed was sown in the mind of the young performer. Since that fateful night she has turned her back on poles, become a model, and will shortly be gracing our screens in Ladette to Lady.

She will also be appearing on Radio 4’s agenda-setting Today programme, where she will be delivering her “Thought for the day” and posing in her famous yellow bikini on the programme’s website.

Posted: 27th, August 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink