Anorak News | Judge Robert Restaino Sends Everyone To Jail

Judge Robert Restaino Sends Everyone To Jail

by | 28th, November 2007

restaino.jpgJUDGE Robert Restaino “snapped”. Hours spent in the wainscoted walls of a fuggy American courtroom have finally got to him.

He experienced “two hours of inexplicable madness”.

Mr Restaino (not Restraino – if only) is ready to mete out justice when he hears the urgent trill of a mobile phone.

In Anorak’s list Of Ten Items To Enrage the mobile phone ring is at Number 2, only pipped to the top spot by the occasional appearances of Anthea Turner on our television screens. If anyone should, of course, happen to own a mobile with an Anthea Turner ringtone (“Poor Della!” it trills) we would elevate it to the top spot and the mobile would be relegated to No. 3. But until that momentous and devilish day…

Back in the courtroom, Mr Restaino wants answers. Whose phone is it? Own up! No-one will admit to it. Says Mr Restaino: “Everyone is going to jail. Every single person is gong to jail in this courtroom unless I get that instrument now. If anybody believes I’m kidding, ask some of the folks that have been here for a while. You are all going.”

No-one moves. We expect some giggle. And off to jail they go. All 46 of them.

Bail is paid. People walk free. Fourteen are unable to pay their bail money and are shackled and bussed to Niagara County Jail.

Mr Restaino later releases the felons.

Whose phone did ring is not known, nor if the call was important. One shudders to thinks that it was vital, and the man or woman’s home was being razed to the ground by an angry mob.

Or “Jacqui from accounts” was calling to say Anthea Turner was on the telly…

Posted: 28th, November 2007 | In: Reviews Comments (7) | TrackBack | Permalink