Anorak News | Gillian Gibbons: Teddy Bears, Zionists And Imperalism

Gillian Gibbons: Teddy Bears, Zionists And Imperalism

by | 1st, December 2007

teddy-sword.jpgGILLIAN Gibbons is in jail for calling a teddy bear Mohammed.

“ALL BECAUSE OF A TEDDY,” says the Sun’s front page. “MOB WANT BRIT TEACHER DEAD.”

“KILL HER,” says the Express.

“KILL HER! KILL HER!” echoes the Mail.

“Mob calls for teddy bear teacher to be shot,” says the Telegraph, a fact illustrated by a picture of an angry looking Muslim with a, er, sword.

Says Gillian Gibbons:

I still cannot believe this…Never in my life would I have ever thought I would be accused of deliberately insulting someone or something. I am simply not like that… It was my dream to come here so why should I have come and then insulted Islam? If I was that type of person I would have never come in the first place or I could have done that sort of thing in London or Liverpool.

In Liverpool, calling a teddy “Boris” is ill met by large women in replica football tops. A London-based teddy called “Anthea” was recently thrown on the top of a bus shelter.

But this goes further. No-one sane goes out of their way to cause offence, even Mel Gibson, and it is with an eye to human-to-human harmony we look at the teddy bear in Western society and suggest some alternatives:

  • The Teddy Bears’ picnic is now an all-male affair. The female teddy bears luncheon will feature guest speaker Rupert Hill (Coronation Street’s Jamie Baldwin!)
  • Teddy boys will be required to rename brothel creepers “God whisperers”.
  • The short lingerie item the “teddy” will be rebranded as the “vest”.
  • Teddy Sheringham will address the Government’s Inter-Faith Dialogue at Loughton Bowling Green and Rotary Club this Thursday afternoon
  • Teddy Pendergrass’s hit album Life Is a Song Worth Singing will be adopted as the official anthem of the One World Unity Teddy movement

Says a spokesman for the Sudanese Teddy Liberation Front: “Teddy Bears are Zionist agents. A thousand cuts on Beary Poppins, Queen Elizabear, Bearie Antoinette, Sarah Bearnheart, Abearham Lincoln, Albeart Einstein. Queen Elizabear, Cyrano de Beargerac, Lauren Bearcall, Tony Bear, Bear Mitzvahs…

Posted: 1st, December 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (25) | TrackBack | Permalink