Hulk Hogan Wrestles With His Mistress’s Baby
“HULK HOGAN LOVE CHILD SCANDAL,” screams the National Enquirer from its front page.
Hogan is the bald, neon fringed, varnished skinned, 6ft 5in, wrinkle-proof pro-wrestler-turned actor. You’d imagine that any child Hulk sired would be easy to spot.
It turns out that Christiane Plante, mistress to the Hulk, and his daughter Brooke’s “best pal”, is not pregnant, but Hulk would like her to be.
Says a voice from inside the canvas bed: “Hulk is yearning for a wrestling successor and wants one long before he turns 60. His son Nick doesn’t wrestle, and he wants a boy to continue his legacy.”
Says the Hulk: “I’m not finished having kids – I want another Hulkster.” Daughter Brooke may well blush, once more.
The ambition must be for a Hulk V Hulk tag-team, both men taking it in turns to reach for the can of Ronseal. The fight over who gets access to the yellow magic marker, and thus the family hair, would be must-see TV.
The Hulk is 54. If Christiania can get pregnant by the time he’s 70, and the Hulk remain preserved beneath his trademark polypropylene orange coating, the show could go on…
Posted: 12th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, National Enquirer Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
