Anorak News | Immigrants Take Boston And EU Carves Up Britain

Immigrants Take Boston And EU Carves Up Britain

by | 23rd, April 2008

st-georges-day.jpgTHE Star leads the way with all things St George, but how do the others follow?

The Express and Mail both take a typically miserable view of this sceptred isle. Both have articles about Boston in Lincolnshire – a symbol, it seems of all that is wrong with our dear old country.

The Express helpfully prints the town’s coat of arms, which bears the historic legend: “TWINNED WITH LAVAL, FRANCE.”

But that’s the least of Boston’s problems. The headline calls it “The English Town where 25% of the people are from Eastern Europe”. The Mail prefers a snappier banner: “The market town where they speak 65 languages… and a quarter of the people are East European migrants.” And in case you missed the point, that makes it “A CORNER OF ENGLAND THAT’S BARELY ENGLISH”.

“The once decaying port has even developed a continental café culture,” complains Britain’s leading quality tabloid. Wot no Little Chef?

Well that’s really put a wet blanket on our celebrations. Surely the Sun can cheer us up on the day of our patron saint?

Sacre bleu! What’s this? “Fury at new Euro names for UK regions.”

Yes, you heard it right: “Gordon Brown will today fly the flag of St George over Downing Street – as the EU plots to carve up Britain into a United States of Europe.”

It’s true, they are indeed going to “carve us up” – into administrative blocs for the purposes of handing out their filthy subsidies to our once proud citizens. Depending on where in the UK you live, you will be in the TransManche, Alantic or North Sea region. And may God have mercy on your soul.

Forgive our bitter tone. It’s just that we’ve discovered something even worse. On holiday in Europe shortly after the war, Old Mr Anorak acquired a selection of travel guides that immediately dampened the euphoria of victory.

It’s all there in those yellowing pages. Maps of our dear land with the unmistakable signs of a foreign plot: Angleterre, Inghilterra, Inglaterra. Londres, Londra, Londres. Petit Chef, Chef Piccolo, Poco Cocinero…


Posted: 23rd, April 2008 | In: Tabloids Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink