Anorak News | I’d Do Anything: Lloyd-Webber’s Finger Prongs And Jessie’s Third Person

I’d Do Anything: Lloyd-Webber’s Finger Prongs And Jessie’s Third Person

by | 2nd, May 2008

fingerforks.jpgGOODBYE Keisha. Or so long, farewell, cheery-o, Keisha, as the Olivers would sing it.

After more flirtations with disaster than Peter Stringfellow’s thong, Keisha was finally introduced to the wrong side of the stage door.

Having sung a song against Niamh (3-1 to leave this weekend), Andrew Lloyd Webber made his choice: “Thank goodness I can get rid of one of you losers.”

Only joking. Said Lloyd–Webber: “First, I’m going to say this is a complete and utter travesty, neither of you should be in the bottom two, it’s completely wrong…I’ve been put into a situation that I have never wanted to be in. For the first time on a television show, I am angry.”

You won’t like AGW when he’s angry. It’s hard to like him when he’s mute. He’s taken to doing something peculiar with his fingers. When down to the final two he uses the digits as a two-pronged fork to stab at the agonists.

Being stagy types, you’d expect one of them to offer a mock recoil and fall to the boards with an “Alas, poor Webber, I knew him” or, given the losers’ future career options in panto, a grizzly “The apple is poisoned”.

Favourite to be first to reach the end of the pier is Ashley, who has survived by magic.

Ashley isn’t much of a singer, not much of an actor and has all the stage presence of blancmange.

She has to go. And at 8-15 on its hard to look beyond her, metaphorically speaking.

Ashley will not win. She’s 74-1 to do so.

The favourite is Rachel (12-5) ahead of the likeable Jessie on 3-1.

And Jessie is already talking like a star.

Says Jessie: “’I’m ready to bring back the old Jessie this week, and hopefully I’ll be able to stand on that stage on Saturday night and be the tomboy that I am.”

Yes, indeed, Jessie has started talking about herself in the third person. Only stars and top footballers should speak like this; anyone else looks raving mad.

She goes on: “I think I’m going to be working on enjoying my performance and enjoying being me.”

Which is lucky.

Although he could be Nancy…

Posted: 2nd, May 2008 | In: TV & Radio Comments (6) | TrackBack | Permalink