Anorak News | Immigrants And Poles Are Eurovision’s New Seekers

Immigrants And Poles Are Eurovision’s New Seekers

by | 2nd, June 2008

putin.jpgBAD news for Eurovision fans is that the 2.3 million immigrants the Mail says have come to the UK in the past 15 years are not all from Eastern Europe.

Or as the Express’ front-page screamer puts it: “IMMIGRATION IS OUT OF CONTROL.”

The Mail says “most migrants” have arrived from the Third World and not Eastern Europe, so reducing hopes of a naturalised Pole winning the big sing off for the UK, and of unnatural Poles voting for their former brethren.

Terry Wogan, who gives voice to Eurovision from an uneven wooden stool in a snow-blown corner of the BBC complex, is said by the Express to have blasted those “Eastern European racists”.

The paper reminds us that no eastern European country voted for Andy Abraham, who on top of singing a rubbish song suffered the double whammy of being a black man with a Jewish-sounding name. Had the finale to his act involved his admitting to eating little blonde children and shagging their mums, he might have scored big. But hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Like Wogan, Daily Express readers are outraged that the voting should be skewered towards the Russians. Taking time out from voting on today’s phone poll (“Should MPS have their expenses slashed” – make that “GREEDY MPs”) a “massive 98 per cent of readers” called the Express – irony of ironies – to complain of “rigged voting”.

Vladimir Putin’s fingerprints are all over Eurovision. But what to do – how can we rule again, or at least come seventh to J’aime la vie (1976) or runner up, as in 1975 when The Shadows were beaten by the might of the Netherlands’ Ding Dinge Dong?

Ah, great days.

But by word of caution, the Times catches up with former New Seekers member Eve Graham, runner up in 1972 with Beg, Steal or Borrow (undone by Luxembourg’s Vicky Leandros), who tells one and all: “I got things from working in Debenhams that I didn’t get by entertaining on stage.” Like little soaps and a name badge.

Back to the show, and the Russians are on to us. The Poles have scored just 14 points, the same as our Sammy Davis Junior impersonator. Joining forces with them will result in bilingual calamity not witnessed since Bill Wyman was un rockstar.

The only thing is for the ruling elite to hasten its break up of the United Kingdom and for Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland to go the way of Cornwall, the Isle of white, parts of south-east London, that street in Belgravia where the tribe of Filipino women live, Melton Mowbray and Jersey.

To battle…

Posted: 2nd, June 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Tabloids, TV & Radio Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink