Anorak News | Surgeons To Get OAP Kill Bonus

Surgeons To Get OAP Kill Bonus

by | 20th, July 2008

“SURGEONS to earn ‘patient survival bonuses’,” says the Sunday Telegraph.

Perhaps to help keep the accounts in order, patients should have their stitching designed to say “I survived [insert surgeon’s name here]”?

Says the paper:

NHS surgeons are to be paid bonuses based on the number of lives they save, in radical plans being drawn up by hospitals across Britain.

Anorak wonder if the surgeons will pay a forfeit for a kill, say, losing a tenner for each year a patient is under 50?

The cadaver should be means tested. If a surgeon fails to save a taxpayer, then so much for the worse for them – the medic will have to wear some of the budget deficit. Fail to cure a benefits claimant and find a tenner in your rubber gloves.

The big money is, of course, in treating the old and frail, those high-risk patients bonus-chasing surgeons avoid. Kill a pensioner or someone who needs round-the-clock care or prescription drugs, and get an OBE.

Don’t get old. Don’t get ill.

Posted: 20th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money Comments (18) | TrackBack | Permalink