Anorak News | Cheryl Cole Can More Than She’s Cried

Cheryl Cole Can More Than She’s Cried

by | 26th, September 2008

“I CAN’T CRY ANY MORE THAN I’VE CRIED,” says Cheryl Cole in OK! magazine.

“SOBBING CHERYL’S AXE FACTOR,” announces the Star’s cover page. “She’s told: Stop all that snivelling or you’re out.”

Cheryl can cry when teh job demands it.

As a judge on the X Factor talent show, Cheryl and has correctly realised that the point of the thing is to reveal the judges to be caring, sensitive, talented people who can cry as some sad sack with adult acne/ a poorly mum/ starving brown bay-bies sings a version of a Bette Midler song.

And there are ways to cry and ways not to cry. Judges should not sob into their hankies and wail “Why me”; “How the f*** did it come to this?”, rather they should weep a very little and touch a manicured finger to the top of the inner corner of one eye.

They should then flap their hands in front of their face in the manner of a sea lion trying to clean its whiskers of pilchards.

You can cry too much. The Star says that a fan or fans responding to a poll say Cheryl has exceeded her tears quota.

There is a real fear that should an unattractive fat, middle-aged woman appear and dedicate her version of Sweet Caroline to her ill daughter Caroline, Cole will dehydrate and turn to dust…

Posted: 26th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink