Wake And Bacon: The Breakfast Made Alarm Clock
ALL hail the morning alarm clock and bacon griller.
This is the alarm clock that wakes you up with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon.
Of course, it might be mingled with the scent of last night’s kebab, the afterburn of bacardi breezers and regret, but you can always let the bacon burn and lie in.
The details:
No one likes to wake up, especially by an alarm. This clock gently wakes you up with the mouthwatering aroma of bacon, just like waking up on a Sunday morning to the smell of Mom cooking breakfast. Unless you’re Jewish.
In which case you stay over at your non-Jewish lover’s home and wake up to the smell of their mother cooking bacon. Or cook odourless bacon, the biggest Jewish secret since Prince Harry’s twin (oops!)
How does it work, then?
A frozen strip of bacon is placed in Wake n’ Bacon the night before. Because there is a 10 minute cooking time, the clock is set to go off 10 minutes before the desired waking time. Once the alarm goes off, the clock it sends a signal to a small speaker to generate the alarm sound. We hacked the clock so that the signal is re-routed by a microchip that in responds by sending a signal to a relay that throws the switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in about 10 minutes.
Who knew that frying a sliver of meat was so complicated. It’s easier to just move house and live over a cafe, spray yourself with this or actually do as many cutting-edge Britishers do and go to bed with shards of meat in your teeth.
The small of bacon might soon be followed by the smell of regurgitated chicken tikka and creme de menthe.
Buyer beware…
Posted: 4th, February 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
