Anorak News | Binyam Mohamed Appeal: Let Him Stay, We Need A New Tabloid Terrorist

Binyam Mohamed Appeal: Let Him Stay, We Need A New Tabloid Terrorist

by | 24th, February 2009


He is the “terror suspect” being “flown back to Britain by private jet”. And “he’ll get thousands a year in benefits”.

The Express is delighted that Ethiopian Binyam Mohamed is now returned to the country he once lived in. With Omar Bakri taking the winter sun in Lebanon, and Abu Hamza twiddling his hooks in jail, the British media needs a Muslim it can hold up as our nutter-in-residence.

But will he be allowed to stay?

In time, it is hoped that Mohamed will take the Express’ call and say something like, “Coronation Street is a Zionist conspiracy” and “Deep-crust pizza is an affront to Islam”.

But for now the Express is content with looking at the plane that brought Binyam home. It’s a “twin-engined Gulfstream” with enough room on board from two Foreign Office wonks, two Met police officers and a doctor.

Rumours speak of a pilot, co-pilot and steward. But as yet those facts have been unconfirmed. The Express an only reveal that such jets “boasts gourmet meals and ‘premium beverages’”.

“Our spacious six-foot-three cabin makes you feel like you are relaxing in our own private hotel suits,” says the blurb.

Says Richard Littlejohn in the Mail:

Today he touched down in a private Gulfstream jet, accompanied by the kind of entourage you normally associate with Madonna.

He’s been waxed, spray tanned and his beard softened in vat of liquefied Labrador pereniums. The Mail says that Binyam looked “extremely gaunt”.

It’s home from home for Binyam Madonna, used as he to the expansive cosiness of a Guantanamo Bay cell.

Now Binyam has tasted the high life, and should he, as the Express says, qualify for £21,600-a-year in benefits, he will soon be snapping up his own minders and jet.

The paper says Binyam “may also try to sue the British Government for hundreds of thousands of pounds in damages”, or holiday money, as his brief might term it.

Littlejohn again:

Soon he’ll be on the chat show circuit, followed by a lucrative book deal and, inevitably, a multi million-pound claim for com-pensay-shun under the yuman rites act.

The Express lists his weekly allowances as totalling £450. The Mail tots it up to £324.

Pretty clear, then, that Binyam should consult the Express in fiscal matters.

The big question, though, is if Binyam qualifies as a UK citizen. Fingers crossed he does. Although only ever a terror “suspect”, Binyam Mohamed is the closet we’ve got just now to a front-line Islamic nutter.

Meanwhile, the hunt goes on.

Appeal: If you see a bearded loon shouting at pigeons in the precinct, call the tabloids.

Posted: 24th, February 2009 | In: Reviews Comments (17) | TrackBack | Permalink