Anorak News | Spider-Man Kills Wife With Radioactive Sperm

Spider-Man Kills Wife With Radioactive Sperm

by | 5th, April 2009

SPIDER-Man has killed his wife with radioactive sperm. Comics are taken to a new level:

So Marvel has finally gone porno. In last week’s issue of the new “dark” Spider-Man Reign, it was revealed that Spidey killed his wife MJ with . . . radioactive sperm.

Are they allowed to publish drawings of radioactive sperm? Well, yes, so long as Spidey isn’t kicked in the gonads and the little chaps aren’t aroused.

For all your violent cartoon needs: Nightmare On Fleet Street: Action And Battle In The Comic Books

And for a good dose of family cartoon porn you can chew on: Flashback: Norman Saunders S&M Bazooka Porn And Battle Cards.

Says Annalee Newitz:

I’m very surprised that I’ve not seen more online outrage about the reveal, this issue, of what killed Mary Jane: Spider-Man’s cum. And for all of you who think I’m joking, here’s the dialogue from the book itself: “Oh God, I’m sorry! The doctors didn’t understand how it happened! How you had been poisoned by radioactivity! How your body slowly became riddled with cancer! I did. I was… I am filled with radioactive blood. And not just blood. Every fluid. Touching me… loving meLoving me killed you!

Seriously, Marvel, WHAT THE FUCK? At what point did Spider-Man having radioactive sperm ever seem like a good idea? At what point did anyone even think about Spider-Man having radioactive sperm? Jesus Christ, I can’t believe this ever saw print, I cannot believe that no-one at Marvel thought that having a comic where Spider-Man tells the corpse of his wife – because, yeah, I meant to say that, he’s talking to the corpse of his dead wife – that he killed her with his special radioactive spider-spunk was ANYTHING that should ever be allowed to appear in a comic. And that’s before you even get to the continuation of his admission: “Like a spider, crawling up inside your body and laying a thousand eggs of cancer… I killed you.”

Via The Savage Critic(s), and Samizdata

Posted: 5th, April 2009 | In: Reviews Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink