Anorak News | One Female Big Brother Housemate Is A Man

One Female Big Brother Housemate Is A Man

by | 6th, June 2009

cairon-austin-hillNEWS on Big Brother’s Cairon, the 18-year-old American.

One thing we need to clear up: Cairon is not gay.

Cairon is so straight he feels uncomfortable about wiping his own arse and only ever walks in straight lines, never walks backwards and doesn’t even know what being gay is let alone how to spell it.

Problem is, what if one of the female housemates turns out to be a man?

Karly says her best feature is her arse. But when Karly turns out to be Troy from Basildon, how will Cairon react?

Beinazir is the bookie’s favourite to be unveiled a bloke. But she seems too obvious.

Sophie Reade is old Mr Anorak’s tip to be the cross-dresser.

He says he hasn’t seen a chest like that since the last running of the Field Gun Competition nor hair of spun cheese since he played Judge Jeffries in the Bloody Asides, a play he wrote in which everyone speaks in stage whispers from the wings.

As for the other would-be men:

Angel has the look of a pre-menstrual Shannon Doherty miming to Take That’s Mark Owen while staring at her face reflected in a stainless steel kettle.

Sophia doesn’t sit still long enough to let you get a firm image of her.

Saffia says men are just “sperm donors”, which given that that is what many men want to be, suggests she is very in touch with her masculine side.

Lisa walked into the house as if her tops half and bottom half had been put together by a three-year-old playing a board game. The bottom half screamed Farmer Giles but the top half was all Aunt Flo. Oenuimageisn Lisa would like to be amn and if given half the chance would not pretend to be woman.

Noirin looked less like a man when she had a moustache drawn on her face.

Of course, one of them could be a woman. And Cairon does have the look of a young Venus Williams, speaking in a scientific manner, of course…

Posted: 6th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink