Anorak News | Shark Let Loose In Big Brother

Shark Let Loose In Big Brother

by | 13th, July 2009

sophie_reade_011PICKING a Big Brother contestant used to be easy: you just told people they’d be on the telly and sat back as tapes of mooning Geordies saying “I’m mad me” and hard-nosed strumpets unburdening themselves for our delight and mocking.

Then CCTV became ubiquitous and everyone was on the telly. And Big Brother producers still had to find a Petri Dish of Housemates (source: Anorak Dictionary), and the EU celebrity mountain was low on talent.

So we get the current cope of media-savvy, talentless, charmless, dull housemates who don’t want to be on the telly – they want to work on the telly.

Foreign housemates are shipped in to foment a race story – and fail. A sprouting glamour model is brought in to add sexual allure – but her huge plastic chests fail to add any gloss to her flat personality. She spends her days cosying up to a man who has curly hair, spells Chris with a K and, er, did we mention his curly hair.

And the producers realise that the more you contrive the housemates the more useless the show is; and learn that only a foreigner and the prospective media workers want to be on it.

This week, Siavash Sabbaghpour, a man with less charisma than a pubic hair in the bath, and inflatable w**k toy Sophie Reade are up for eviction. They weren’t nominated – they are up for the chop because they have been put up for eviction because they couldn’t stop swearing.

Yes, swearing is now taboo on Big Brother. That’s how much the show reflects life.

Sadly, Anorak is somewhat out of touch with fashion and can only say that Big Brother is ****ing ****.

Posted: 13th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink