Anorak News | Gordon Brown Embraces Cheryl Bradley’s 20 Stone Ass

Gordon Brown Embraces Cheryl Bradley’s 20 Stone Ass

by | 29th, September 2009

fat-assCHERYL Bradley has a backside that weighs 20 stone. And – yes – it is in proportion to the rest of her. Cheryl weighs 38 stone.

In Closer, Cheryl shows us her 10ft “elephant bum”. Cheryl’s backside earns her 80,000 a year, keeping the rest of her in buns. Says she:

“I was mocked because of my size, but now I’m having the last laugh – all thanks to my beautiful elephant ass.”

Elephants might well complain of prejudice. Where is their money? Where is their feature in Closer magazine? If you want to see huge elephantine arse, find an elephant and ask it to give you a twirl.

Cheryl has five children – Dimmy, Brent, Monika, Aaron and Portia.

For breakfast, she has 10 rashers of bacon and five eggs, lunch is 12 slices of pizza and dinner is chilli smothered in sour cream, followed by cake and ice cream. She eats 12 bags of crisps a day and sips two litres of coke.

That 80k might not be enough for Cheryl to live on.

But the biggest shock is that Cheryl is… American, where the elephants wear plaid shorts and the enterprise culture is rife.

* So come on British porkers get your kit off and get eating. If this country is going to get back on its feet it needs you to start supporting our troubled farmers and retailers by buying lots of cakes and eating them.

It needs you to keep our energy suppliers in work by stocking up your fridges and flushing the chain after each bowel movement, so keeping our sewerage workers in business.

Street cleaners need you vomit. Puppy farms need your toilet rolls. Builders need your re-enforced steel bath tubs.

I say unto you, Britain – get eating. Get fat. Get now!

* Those were extract from Gordon Brown’s party political conference to John Prescott.

Posted: 29th, September 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink