Anorak News | Warsaw Zoo Hires Humans To Pretend To Be Animals

Warsaw Zoo Hires Humans To Pretend To Be Animals

by | 29th, November 2009

humans-caveWARSAW Zoo has installed a human exhibit, featuring two “prehistoric” people in a cage. This is what happens when all the animals are killed for pet food and gloves.

The eighteen year old girl and twenty four year old man will “help visitors learn about the lifestyle of people from prehistoric times”.

Because no CCTV footage of those times still exists – Betamax never caught on – the couple can pretty much make it up as they go along. The couple are aid to pass their days “picking fleas, keeping fire in the fireplace and observing people who walk in front of their dwellings”.

In other words, they do f*** all.

Old Mr Anorak, whose memoirs goes waaaaayyy back, says it is more likely the man would have been playing rugby union while the woman mated with a gibbon and then confessed all to a “Jeremy Kyle-like” figure next door.

Says Ewa Zbornikowska, deputy director of the zoo in Warsaw:

“Our cave people are very calm and polite. [Unlike your cave people who are scum and in need of locking up and sterilisation]. They do not bite, but they are worried about many unknown people who pass in front of their dwellings. This is an interesting way to encourage visitors to reflect on the man’s place in the universe.”

It turns out that man’s place is on the “sofa”. Cue the music:

Posted: 29th, November 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink