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BBC To Broadcast Tiger Woods Sex Tape

by | 15th, December 2009

TIGER Woods: The National Enquirer says the “new nightmare for Tiger Woods is…

“SEX TAPE & LOVE CHILDREN”

At least with a sex tape, Peter Alliss and other droning voices of BBC golf will be able to provide commentary. Finally they can break through the mask of fake conviviality and tuck in.

The consensus in the studio will be that this is what happens when you let women into the trophy room on Tuesday mornings. It’s a slippery slope from a golf club Ladies’ Day to hardcore sex on the 18th fairway. It’s inevitable.

Here’s Alliss, perhaps, as Woods lines up his money shot:

“Lovely day. Clouds, They were expecting rain. A torrential bucketing, I suspect. Hope she gets the washing in on time…”

He then suggests that Holly Sampson, or whoever it is in any rumoured video, gets 200 hours community service or the long rope for wearing heels on the green. He’d suggest a flogging, but the little lady enjoy it too much. There’s no laughter. Alliss goes on (and this really is what he once said of Tiger Woods):

“There are certain disadvantages that face him in this politically correct world and one of them is being coloured. It is not as if he is a handsome Adonis in white. He has coped with  all that.”

Back to the Enquirer which says that, well, there is no sex tape. And, yep, there is no love child. But there might be that that would be awful and, to be blunt, typical of women. Right, golfers? Here’s are those pictures from the Tiger woods’ invitational:

devon-james-2

Picture 1 of 53

Devon James



Posted: 15th, December 2009 | In: Sports Comment | TrackBack | Permalink