Anorak News | Live From Studio Five: Shooting The Messenger And Boiling The Viewing

Live From Studio Five: Shooting The Messenger And Boiling The Viewing

by | 11th, March 2010

A ROW of sort has broken out between Ian Wright and Melinda Messengers, two clown-faced nodding heads on Live From Studio Five until Messenger walked away.

Wright said:

“Melinda would drown us out so many times and it was annoying. People don’t want to turn on to see people arguing.”

Messenger’s agent says:

“Melinda did not renew her contract because the working relationship with Ian Wright became intolerable.”

For those of you who’ve not seen the show, this is what Richard Woolfe, channel controller at Five, said when it launched:

“This is news – but not as you know it. It’s a chatty, forthright spirited magazine…Every other broadcaster’s schedule at this time is totally predictable and I believe there’s a huge opportunity for a show like this which will shake things up, put Five on the map and get viewers talking about the channel.”

And then it started. And we realised it wasn’t a telly show but part of the Government plan to get people off prescription drugs. Here was the answer: sit the masses in front of Wright, Messenger and Kate Walsh and watch as they reach a vegetative state. The ambition was to make the viewers into “cabbages” but the show has exceeded all expectation and we can revels that nine out of ten viewers made it to “boiled cabbages”.

The boiled cabbages will then be devoured by Kate Walsh, whose teeth make up for her lack of insight, control, entertainment, research, talent and nous. Kate’s shows her teeth at all times. The full set.

To her left, sits Ian Wright. He rolls his eyes like one of those toy clowns with a roly-poly base. He rocks back. Eyes go up. He rock forward. Eyes go down.

At no time to the three make eye contact. True enough, looking at two people at once, is tricky, especially for Wright who was sat between the two women. But they could try. A half-hour staring contest would at least make them look less inane ansd give the show some depth.

Anyhow, Messenger has walked. Wright and Walsh are left to entertain the crew – there is no audience. And the one in ten viewers who’ve yet to reach the Nirvana of cabbage sit in their own warm water…

Posted: 11th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink