Anorak News | London Olympics Kills Glastonbury: We Have No Portaloos

London Olympics Kills Glastonbury: We Have No Portaloos

by | 18th, October 2010

THE London Olympics 2010 has killed off Glastonbury. Anorak had been looking forward to both events working in harmony to form a Well Modern Pentathlon.

Finally, we’d get a decent approach to drugs in athletics. All athletes would be invited to get as off their heads as possible before being invited to erect a one-man tent in the rain; eat ten small donuts without a drink; stare at the grass for 45 minutes without blinking; endure the din of braying thirtysomethings before you use a tent peg as a weapon; and seeing how may turds you can fit in a portaloo.

And the portaloo is the thing. Glastonbury headmaster Michael Eavis says an acute shortage of portable toilets means the show is cancelled.

And the police needed to patrol the site are all on duty in London for the Games. Avon and Somerset Police have no officers to spare.

“Avon and Somerset told us no police officers will be available as they will all be at the Olympics and we only own half the loos we actually need every year. We shop around with four companies to get the best price, but we are not bothering for 2012. There will be a huge demand for Portaloo toilets in London, so everyone will push up their prices and I can see it getting very expensive. We take a year off anyway every fifth or sixth year so we looked at the timing and thought it seemed sensible.”

On a brighter note, Mr and Mrs Evis will be on a “drive around the UK in our Mini”.

Posted: 18th, October 2010 | In: Sports Comment | TrackBack | Permalink