Anorak News | Jai McDowall Wins Britain’s Got Talent: Matt Cardle Kicks Telly

Jai McDowall Wins Britain’s Got Talent: Matt Cardle Kicks Telly

by | 4th, June 2011

JAI McDowall is the winner of the Britain’s Got Talent.

Jean Marty did not win. Jean had talent. She reminded Anorak of one of this things that pop up in 1960’s horrors films to signify a mental breakdown. The starlet begins to spin, her mind a maelstrom of emotions and unsettling objects. Jean begins to play the piano. She beams. She winks.

The actress presses her hands to her ears and screams. Jean plays on. Laughing.

New Bounce did not win. Old Bounce is pretty good, adding a nice scent and, well, bounce to your clothes in the drier. New Bounce smell of lemon jelly, mum’s vapid dreams and the stuff you pick out of your keyboard. Still, they were every bit as good as One Direction and JLS.

Ronan Parke did not win. That internet thing about BGT being a fix to let the boy who sings like an old woman while wearing Gail Platt’s hair win was wrong.

Jail McDowall wins! And – you know what – he might just be low-key, humble, ordinary, vanity-free and talented enough to be the new Matt Cardle. Yeah… Who?


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Simon Cowell's mother, Julie Cowell, arrives at Fountain Studios, Wembley, for the final of the ITV programme Britain's Got Talent.

Posted: 4th, June 2011 | In: TV & Radio Comment | TrackBack | Permalink