Anorak News | Kerry Katona: So – How Are You Going To Die?

Kerry Katona: So – How Are You Going To Die?

by | 10th, August 2011

KERRY Katona is stood by a washing line from which five teddies are hanging. One is hanging by its ears. Three are hanging by their arms. Alongside this scene of nursery torture, Kerry smiles over the OK! magazine headline:

“Kerry cracks up!”

Is this a cruel pun on her drug-taking past and bi-polarism? Another headline appears:

“My ex mark can drown himself in the Big Brother pool”

This delightful turn of phrase is only made more hideous when we see that also on the OK! cover are two of Kerry’s children – the pair she had with Mark Croft – her ex-husband. One is sat in a laundry basket. The other is touching the wire from which the teddies are hanging. Is it plugged in?

This is no joke because having introduced the kids and the reader to the idea of daddy being dead (he’s not on Big Brother), OK! then asks lots of question about potentially lethal moments in Kerry’s life:

OK!: “Which of your exes wouldn’t you mind finding face down in the Big Brother pool?”

Kerry: “If I had to say anyone it would be Mark Croft.”

That’s Mark dead. What about Kerry – who is pictured – get this – jumping fully clothed into a swimming pool.

OK!: “Have you ever felt like ending it all?”
KK: “…there have been times…”

OK!: “Have you ever electrocuted yourself?”
KK: “Yes”

OK!: “When was the last time you had a hospital dash?”

OK!: “Have you ever had a near death experience?”

OK!: “Do you smoke in bed?”

KK: “Yes.”

OK!: “Have you ever thrown something in the bin and then taken it out and eaten it?”
KK: “Yes”

OK!: “What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you involving pet?”

OK!: “Have you ever set fore to anything?”

Kerry Katona – not dead yet but OK! is ready for your finale. Someone get the squirrel vol-au-vents in – the send offs gonna be regal…


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THIS PICTURE IS FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY : Singer Kerry McFadden , of the girl band Atomic Kitten, performing on stage at the Disney Channel Kids Awards 2000, at the London Docklands Arena. * 10/1/2001: McFadden and Atomic Kitten's Kerry Katona are expecting a baby. The baby is due on September 5 the day before Kerry's 21st birthday. The pop star pair secretly got engaged last year but kept the news under wraps until a few weeks ago for fear of upsetting Westlife's millions of young fans. 18/1/2001: Kerry Katona, who is pregnant and will leave girl group Atomic Kitten for the health of her unborn child, her record company said. She is to be replaced by blonde Jenny Frost who was seen earlier this year among a party holidaying with the Duke of York in Thailand. Kerry, 20, is said to be leaving the band early in order to rest from the hectic schedule and prepare for the birth of her baby in September. 06/03/02 The former Atomic Kitten star turned TV presenter beat rivals including Victoria Beckham to the title of Celebrity Mum of the Year. Katona, who is married to Westlife's Bryan McFadden and mother to six-month-old Molly, got more than twice as many votes as Posh Spice in the online poll by toy firm The Blue Foot Bear Company.


Posted: 10th, August 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | TrackBack | Permalink