Anorak News | Kerry Katona: So – How Are You Going To Die?

Kerry Katona: So – How Are You Going To Die?

by | 10th, August 2011

KERRY Katona is stood by a washing line from which five teddies are hanging. One is hanging by its ears. Three are hanging by their arms. Alongside this scene of nursery torture, Kerry smiles over the OK! magazine headline:

“Kerry cracks up!”

Is this a cruel pun on her drug-taking past and bi-polarism? Another headline appears:

“My ex mark can drown himself in the Big Brother pool”

This delightful turn of phrase is only made more hideous when we see that also on the OK! cover are two of Kerry’s children – the pair she had with Mark Croft – her ex-husband. One is sat in a laundry basket. The other is touching the wire from which the teddies are hanging. Is it plugged in?

This is no joke because having introduced the kids and the reader to the idea of daddy being dead (he’s not on Big Brother), OK! then asks lots of question about potentially lethal moments in Kerry’s life:

OK!: “Which of your exes wouldn’t you mind finding face down in the Big Brother pool?”

Kerry: “If I had to say anyone it would be Mark Croft.”

That’s Mark dead. What about Kerry – who is pictured – get this – jumping fully clothed into a swimming pool.

OK!: “Have you ever felt like ending it all?”
KK: “…there have been times…”

OK!: “Have you ever electrocuted yourself?”
KK: “Yes”

OK!: “When was the last time you had a hospital dash?”

OK!: “Have you ever had a near death experience?”

OK!: “Do you smoke in bed?”

KK: “Yes.”

OK!: “Have you ever thrown something in the bin and then taken it out and eaten it?”
KK: “Yes”

OK!: “What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you involving pet?”

OK!: “Have you ever set fore to anything?”

Kerry Katona – not dead yet but OK! is ready for your finale. Someone get the squirrel vol-au-vents in – the send offs gonna be regal…


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Posted: 10th, August 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | TrackBack | Permalink