Anorak News | The Only Way Is Essex Features An Abortion As Entertainment

The Only Way Is Essex Features An Abortion As Entertainment

by | 28th, September 2011

THE Only Way Is Essex’s Lauren Goodger appears on the cover of OK! to assure readers:

“I’ve aborted Mark’s baby”

Anorak has been wondering what to buy little Vajazzel when she was born to Mark Wright and Lauren, but know thanks to the announcement, we know not to bother. At the start of the last series of TOWIE, Mark and Lauren got engaged. Now at the start of another series on the lives and loves of Jade Goody’s children – who consist entirely of orangey-pink depilated bowels saying whatever they like with no purpose – Mark and Lauren have split up. What are the odds?

Lauren still has a chihuahua called Wrighty, denies that she ever cheated on her former lover – she “swears on my family’s life” this is true (why not her own life?) – and that Mark is very insecure.

She then tells us she signed an agreement not to talk about whatever it is she cannot talk about.

“When I signed this agreement, I was really upset. I was on holiday. I can’t sign any contacts [sic] whether it’s about hair, nails – I don’t understand them, I can’t read them.”

Hell, Lauren can’t even say them. Con…tacts… Con-stipation…Tic-tacs…

Lauren than says that Mark says that a claymation tangerine called Lucy is a “complete slag“, adding, “I don’t want to be nasty“.

To put the tin lid on the failed romance to Wright, Lauren informs us that Mark only bought her gifts on her birthday and at Christmas and:

“He treated me like rubbish. My engagement ring was four sizes too big.”

But the bit about the baby is best:

“Yes, I did think I was pregnant. I’m not on the Pill and haven’t been for a little while, just because of my cells… I was late once and I think it was the stress of what was going on. I’ve been pregnant before with his baby but I chose not have it. I was 20. No-one knows except for my close family.”

It’s our little secret…

Posted: 28th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink