Anorak News | Matthew Parris Explains Why Hair Beats Politics And Hard News

Matthew Parris Explains Why Hair Beats Politics And Hard News

by | 5th, October 2011

Times columnist Matthew Parris explains why newspaper cover news items – and why Anorak tries to make a mix of news and stuff:

Since taking up pen, typewriter then laptop about a quarter of a century ago, I’ve written almost 5,000 newspaper and magazine articles. Ranging across most of the major issues affecting Britain or mankind — global warming, the Iraq war, the fall of Margaret Thatcher, the folly of Afghanistan, world population growth, the global economic crash, the madness of Gordon Brown — I’ve advanced lofty arguments.

I’ve come up with a plan for reorganising public transport in the UK, a future for Britain’s remaining colonies, and ideas on independence for Scotland and Wales. Times readers have had the benefit of my advice on the reform of libel laws, the direction of British foreign policy, and the existence of God.

None of these great essays — not one — has had the smallest impact. All (in the 18th-century philosopher David Hume’s words) “fell stillborn from the press”. None stirred the nation. None made a difference. None are remembered.

Only three things I’ve written have ever lodged themselves in the national consciousness. Only three ever excited my readers in large numbers. Only three got anyone going.
The first was about squirty milk sachets. The second was about the evils of shampoo. The third was about the disadvantages of shower gel over soap.

Sachets. There’s a gap in the magazine market for sachets…

Posted: 5th, October 2011 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink