Anorak News | Want to listen to weird 999 calls? Why didn’t you say so?

Want to listen to weird 999 calls? Why didn’t you say so?

by | 11th, October 2013


999 is not a number to be trifled with. If you use the number to horse around, chances are, EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE BECAUSE THEY CAN’T GET THROUGH.


Either way, the London Fire Brigade have decided to shame some simpletons who haven’t quite grasped what the number is for. One lady called the Fire Brigade because she threw a glass of water at fighting dogs, but forgot her false teeth were in the glass. Number of fires in that incident – 0.

Another call concerned a phone that fell into a toilet. Fire fighters needed for that situation – 0.

Another thundering berk called the control room about a spider crawling across a pillow when she could’ve just battered it with a saucepan and be done with it.

Senior Officer Dave Brown said the brigade suffered in advance of 100 unnecessary 999 calls a week.

“Our advice is simple – if it’s not an emergency, don’t ring 999,” he said. “If you’re calling because you have a serious phobia, then arrange for a housemate, friend or neighbour to help you. If you’re calling because there’s an unexpected animal in your home, call the RSPCA.”

“Firefighters are here for Londoners but we can’t be on speed dial when something trivial happens. We are here to respond to real emergencies, so if you do find a squirrel in your kitchen or you lose your keys down the toilet, don’t dial 999.

Want to listen to some idiots on the phone to emergency services? Have a listen below. If you know any, kick them in the arse the next time you see them.

In fact, don’t. They’ll probably phone the lifeguard.

Posted: 11th, October 2013 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink