Anorak News | I’m Glad Hayley Cropper Is Dead: She Never Once Posed In A Bikini

I’m Glad Hayley Cropper Is Dead: She Never Once Posed In A Bikini

by | 14th, January 2014

HAYLEY Cropper was dying. Hayley Cropper is not a real person. She’s the work of dramatists at Coronation Street. And she’s dead. No. She’s alive. Hang on… No, Dead. But she could return for a retrospective or Christmas special. That’s the thing with people who aren’t real, they can do things the rest of us can’t. Sherlock can be made to live in today’s London, Tony Blair can be Prime Minister and Hayley can commit suicide rather than die slowly from cancer. It’s something to do with six-month contracts and a prior booking.

The Daily Mail’s paparazzo has “The Last Picture”. But no need to rush out and buy the newspaper because it’s not real news and, in any case, Hayley death is a primetime snuff movie.


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But the Mirror pretends it’s real news and warns about a “copycat suicide fear”. Phil Mitchell might copy her, so too one of the Emmerdale sheep and there is always the risk that Hollyoaks’ wooden cast will toss themselves on a lit match.

Actress Julie Hesmondhalgh says it was all very upsetting: “You should have seen the carnage at the end, loads and loads of screwed up kitchen roll and empty bottles of whisky. Seeing the end of Hayley was very emotional. Seeing that storyline play to its end with her saying goodbye to everybody. The bit when she grabs hold of Fiz, that nearly killed me.”

But it didn’t.

So. Who is going to copy Hayley and take an overdose of pills and booze to be like her? Alistair Thompson is here to warn readers:

The World Health Organisation and the Samaritans both urge the media to steer clear of promoting suicide. They do so with good reason.

Did Alison see the Mirror’s front page?

The danger is that tragic stories such as Hayley’s that gain widespread publicity can normalise suicide and spark a spate of copycat deaths from people in a similar plight. What the soap should have done is show how people can access good palliative care. No one should be in intolerable pain thanks to drugs. They should have focused on the amazing work done is hospices and hospital wards across the country. For confidential support call the Samaritans in the UK on 08457 90 90 90, visit a local Samaritans branch or click here for details.

Maybe Alison can apply for a job as a TV script writers, or see if she can get a her own show commissioned, a pot-boiler in which a woman born a man dies slowly of cancer in a drab cafe on a cobbled Lancashire street. It will be a hit. Trust us.

The Sun then turns Hayley’s death into a cause.


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I was one of them urging Hayley to die. I never liked her. Sure, she could carry off an anorak, but she never once posed in a bikini for a lads mag. She never really tried to be a soap actress.


Posted: 14th, January 2014 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, TV & Radio Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink