Anorak News | Newcastle United Owner Wants To ‘Murder’ Alan Pardew: Gallowgate Jihadis Rejoice

Newcastle United Owner Wants To ‘Murder’ Alan Pardew: Gallowgate Jihadis Rejoice

by | 27th, September 2014

'Do you know you're a crap manager?" 'You hum it and I'll smash yer face in'

‘Do you know you’re a crap manager?” ‘You hum it and I’ll smash yer face in’


VIVEK Chaudhary has news to gladden the hearts of Newscastle United fans. Writing in the Independent, Chaudhary broadcasts what Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley said about his side’s manager, the man who looks like a surveryor on his way to a two-course lunch, Alan Pardew:

 “He’s got one more game. If we lose against Stoke on Monday night then he’s gone. I have had enough. Dead. Finished. Over. One more game then that’s it. What would you do? I have spent a lot of money on that club, it’s cost me a lot. I won’t put up with it any more. Honestly, answer me, what would you do? One more loss and he’s gone, he’s over, finished.”

Ashley reportedly made cut-throat gestures as he was speaking outside a London pub.

Steady on Mike. Pardew might look like a regional sales executive, in Man At Mondeo but when riled he can push, swear and and headbutt with the best of them

What Newcastle United fans want, surely, is for Pardew and Ashley to replace the unappealing Stoke match with a fight to the death in the centre circle.

But just as Don King’s raied eybrows push back his frightwig, a lawyer oozes:

“Mr Ashley responded, tongue in cheek, that Mr Pardew had two more games before being sacked. To put this into perspective, over the past few weeks certain reporters have stated that they believe that Mr Pardew has two more games before being sacked. Mr Ashley was therefore ‘humouring’ your reporter.”

A little Humourer always get things going such as, “OI! You wearing that Sumo suit for a bet?” or “You Cockney w*nkers need any more balsamic vineger with your chip?”; swifly followed by a Pacifier and a Haymaker…

Game on!

Posted: 27th, September 2014 | In: Sports Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink