Anorak News | ISIS football team recruits five footy flops: Cristiano Ronaldo and Luis Figo are not imposters

ISIS football team recruits five footy flops: Cristiano Ronaldo and Luis Figo are not imposters

by | 26th, January 2015

Are ISIS buliding a football team? Monday’s Daily Star leads with the news: “5 footie aces are secret jihadis.”


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A strawl poll of Anorak Towers’ experts reveals the five we think are aiming to destroy Western civilisation:

John Terry
Luis Suarez
Joe Mourinho
Robin Van Persie

We recommend that all five are arrested and sprited to Guantanamo Bay immediately. But reading on we learn that these soccer ‘Aces’ are more deuces:

Security chiefs are probing if the east London gang of soccer starlets – one of whom claims to have trained with Arsenal – were involved in making the horrific execution videos which shocked the world….

Fabio Pocas, 22, moved to the UK three years ago in a bid to become a professional footballer. He was previously at Sporting Lisbon’s youth academy which nurtured footballing superstars Cristiano Ronaldo and Luis Figo. In London Pocas played for amateur league side UK Football Finder which he helped to become divisional champions.

Which division? The Star fails to say. But we learned that the UKFF Junior side has won the Surrey South Eastern Combination League title in 2013.

UK Football Finder director Ewemade Orobator said:

“I hope he’s still alive. If he’d got a trial he wouldn’t be there now. It’s unbelievable.”

One other “ace” is identified:

Celso Rodrigues da Costa, 28, who with his brother Edgar, 31, is suspected of being a member of the same jihadi cell, is understood have trained with Arsenal but failed to secure a deal with the club…

An accompanying message on Twitter hailed da Costa as ‘an ex-football player (Arsenal of London) who left everything for jihad’.

An Arsenal spokesperson said:

“We don’t have any record of a Mr Celso Rodrigues Da Costa being involved with the club at any level.”

ISIS’ scouting policy needs reviewing.

Posted: 26th, January 2015 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink