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Chelsea | Anorak - Part 20

Chelsea Category

Chelsea football club news, Chelsea transfers

Chelsea Balls: Blues Sign ‘Dead’ Diego Costa

NEWS that Chelsea have signed Atletio Madrid’s Diego Costa has upset someone at the Goal.com website. Either that or the striker really is dead and Chelsea have struck a blow for equal opportunities employment…

 

diego costa dies

Posted: 14th, May 2014 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment


Chelsea Balls: Kerry Dixon Used To Be A Legal High At The Bridge

KERRY Dixon, formerly of Hitchin Town and Letchworth FC has been arrested on suspicion of trading in cocaine, say reports. Dixon, who played for Reading, Southampton, Luton and Chelsea is, allegedly, the subject of this statement from Bedfordshire Police:

“On Friday (May 2), Bedfordshire Police arrested a 52-year-old man and a 46-year-old woman from Dunstable on suspicion of conspiracy to supply class A drugs. Both were released on police bail with no charge while further enquiries are made.”

Note to new Chelski fans: Dixon was one of your best players before you all got given little plastic flags and they stopped parking cars by the pitch at the once vast Stamford Bridge.

 

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Posted: 9th, May 2014 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment


Transfer Balls: Arsenal Sign Diego Costa For Less Than Chelsea Paid For Him

STEVE Stammers has news for all Arsenal fans reading his Daily Mirror column. The Gunners are all set to buy Atletico Madrid’s Diego Costa transfer for £31m.

 

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Arsenal are set to make an audacious move for Diego Costa.

The 25-year-old Atletico Madrid star has a £31million release clause in his contract…

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Posted: 4th, May 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Sports | Comment


Chelsea Balls: Jose Mourinho Says His Family Are Like The Smurfs

jose smurf

 

IS Jose Mourinho going a bit, you know, Tonto?

In the Programme notes for Chelsea’s match with Norwich, Jose delivered a few words to his son. The lad’s name? Oh come on. It’s Jose Junior. D’ur!

Writes dad:

Thank you, kid, for being my kid.

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Posted: 4th, May 2014 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment


Chelsea Balls: Blues Ban Fan For Being Annoying

CHELSEA fan Connor is banned from Stamford Bridge. Why? What did he do? Is he a hooligan, a Headhunter? Did he call someone a “fu*king black cu*t“? No. That doesn’t get you a stadium ban. That just gets you banned from going on the pitch during the game.

No. What Connor did was to engage is ‘Persistent Standing’.

He is guilty of what police, Government and everyone who hates football calls “anti-social behaviour”. He is guilty of displaying passion.

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Posted: 3rd, May 2014 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment (1)


Chelsea Balls: Diego Costa Signs For £128m Plus, Say The Experts

DIEGO COSTA will play for Chelsea next season. Says the Sun in the “exclusive”:

A top Stamford Bridge source confirmed last night: “Diego Costa will be a Chelsea player next season. It’s a done deal.”

He’s joined for £32m?

Or as Goal.com says:

DONE DEAL: Diego Costa agrees to £35m Chelsea move

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Posted: 2nd, May 2014 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment


Chelsea Balls: When Jose Mourinho Said It’s Easy To Win 1-0

BACK in December 2013, after Chelsea lost to Sunderland in the Capital One Cup quarter-final, a pouting Jose Mourinho told the media:

“We may have to take a step back in order to be more consistent at the back. It’s something I don’t want to do, to play more counter-attacking, but I’m giving it serious thought. If I want to win 1-0, I think I can, as I think it’s one of the easiest things in football. It’s not so difficult, as you don’t give players the chance to express themselves.”

Last night, Jose’s joyless Chelsea were 1-0 up away to Atletico Madrid in the semi-final of the Champions’ League. They then let in three without further troubling the scorers.

To think, they used to call him The Special One.

Never go back….

 

Posted: 1st, May 2014 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment


Chelsea Balls: BBC Says Atletico Madrid ‘Win The Tie’ After Just 64 Minutes Played

CHELSEA are playing in the semi-final of the Champions’ League. They are 1-2 down, needing two goals to progress to the final. They can give up because the BBC says the game is already over:

 

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Sage-like wisdom from the Beeb:

 

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Posted: 30th, April 2014 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment


Liverpool V Chelsea Balls: Learning To Hate Mourinho And Love Steven Gerrard, And Vice Versa

IT’S hard work being a football writer for the dead tree press, hitting an opinion to deadline. Take the usually excellent Michael Calvin, writing in the Indy the day before Chelsea won 2-0 at Anfield and upset Liverpool’s Premier League victory parade:

Jose Mourinho, Enemy of Football. The long-standing slur might be excessive and ultimately meaningless, but the status is irresistibly melodramatic. It conjures images of intrigue, a plotter’s face captured for an instant in the beam of a spotlight, shone into shadow.

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Posted: 28th, April 2014 | In: Chelsea, Liverpool, Sports | Comment


Chelsea Balls: Liverpool Fan Wears The Most Regretful Shirt Ever

CHELSEA beat Liverprool 2-0 at Anfield to throw the Premier League title race open. And one Reds’ fan pops home to get some petrol and a match:

 

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Spotter: Mike Kritharis

Posted: 27th, April 2014 | In: Chelsea, Liverpool, Sports | Comment