Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Arsenal Balls: Thierry Henry Says ‘Footballing’ Americans Are Idiots (The Irish Might Laugh)
THIERRY Henry, the Arsenal great now earning a buck in the USA, is bemused why Americans insist on calling Gridiron ‘football’ when they use their hands not their feet. Henry says football is football, not soccer, and American Football is, well, something cross-dressers do to get close to other men.
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Posted: 17th, May 2014 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
When Arsenal Broke Hull City Hearts In The 1930 FA Cup
ON the way to their first FA Cup win in 1930, Arsenal defeated Hull City.
The first semi-final at Elland Road, Leeds, finished 2–2. The Gunners had been two down at half-time. An upset was on. Arsenal were to emerge as the country’s top side; Hull were bottom of the second division.The replay at Villa Park, Birmingham, ended 1-0 to the Arsenal. David Jack scored the winner after a red card had reduced Hull to ten men.
The Hull local paper was noble in defeat.
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Posted: 17th, May 2014 | In: Arsenal, Flashback, Sports | Comment
Arsenal Balls: You’ll Never Guess Who Else Is Planning An FA Cup Victory Parade
THE Sun picks up on the Yorkshire Post’s story that Arsenal have already prepared for victory in the FA Cup Final.
It says that the “Gunners are so very sure they will beat Hull…. a victory parade is planned.”
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Larissa Riquelme: Paraguay’s Number 1 And Number 2 Fan Gets In Shape For Brazil 2014
BY now you’ll be wondering what Paraguayan model Larissa Riquelme has been up since showing off her mobile phone holders at World Cup 2010? Well, Larissa, who famously vowed to cover her body in the country’s colours (tangerine, old gold and ‘varicose blue’) if they beat Spain (they didn’t – but still she streked), has undergone liposuction in order be in shape for the demands of World Cup 2014, and new tablet-sized phones and gadgets. Lest we forget:
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Posted: 16th, May 2014 | In: Celebrities, Sports | Comment
Listen To This 1972 Tribute To Norwich City: When White People Called Reggae ‘Calypso’
ORIGINALLY released on 7″ vinyl in 1972, what we have hear is a cracking little pop ditty about Norwich City by a band by the name of The Chic Applin Sound from back when white people called reggae “calypso”.
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Posted: 16th, May 2014 | In: Flashback, Sports | Comment (1)
Arsenal Balls: Hull Plan To Copy Gunners Victory Parade
THOSE arrogant Southern sods at Arsenal have only gone and planned an FA Cup victory parade before the match has even kicked off.
The Yorkshire Post says this cockiness will inspire plucky Hull:
Tigers ready to snarl as Arsenal plan victory parade before final
ARSENAL have had to wait almost ten years since they last celebrated winning a major trophy. But now the Gunners have caused a stir by planning a party for an FA Cup final triumph – before the match against Hull City has even been played.
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Transfer Balls: Chelsea Sell Luiz To Barcelona But Bayern Munich Sign Him
TRANSFER Balls: Compare and contrast the scoops on Chelsea’s David Luiz:
ESPN, May 13, 2014:
Luiz agrees deal with Barcelona
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World Cup Balls: The List Of Things Out To Kill England Fans In Brazil
THINKING of heading to Brazil to watch England in the World Cup? The media have been doing their best to put you off:
MASSIVE HORNETS
The Daily Mail says huge bugs are waiting to off Englanders.
Welcome to the jungle: Match night in Manaus, where giant hornets hover overhead
The Mail is unable to show readers a picture of an actual hornet. But they are there. Probably.
QUICKSAND
The Sun spots a new killer. Fans are at risk. Hell, players are gong down faster than Ashley Cole in a taxi.
SCREAMING
The Mirror says that when being mugged it’s an idea to remain silent.
Security bosses believe if fans “do not react, scream or argue,” then they will not provoke robbers into further violence.
VAMPIRES
The site MindfulMoney says vampires are coming to get you.
TERRORISTS
The Metro sees terrorists.
Football fans have been warned to expect a ‘World Cup of terror’ at the hands of Brazilian crime gangs.
DENGUE FEVER
More from the Mail. If the hornet miss, the holidaying mozzies won’t…
“There are no vaccines or drugs against dengue but an individual will never contract dengue if they do not get bitten by an infected mosquito in the first place. So avoiding mosquito bites is the best precaution.”
HOOKWORM
The Daily Star sees things crawling up your bottom.
CHILD PROSTITUTES
Says the site SambaFoot:
Despite being illegal in Brazil to pay for sex with a child aged 17 and under, girls as young as 11 are dressed to look older than they are and forced into the sex trade.
What do they wear – police uniforms?
SCORPIONS
The Colorado Daily News has a list of stuff you might find in a jungle:
The jungle around Manaus is home to the Brazilian yellow scorpion, one of the planet’s most deadly varieties, with a venomous sting that can be fatal. Tarantulas also live in the loose soil, digging burrows where they wait for prey. While they cannot kill a human, their bites are painful and the hairs on their bodies can cause itching and sore skin. The tropical climate also attracts false water cobras which can grow up to 7ft long and deliver their venom with a grinding, chewing action, rather than a quick strike, which causes bruising and swelling.
MURDER
The Mirror has a nickname for Manaus.
LEFT AND RIGHT
The Huffington Post has this word of warning:
Dead Fan Walking
English fans visiting Brazil face a particularly hazardous situation. In England, for example traffic laws are enforced far more rigorously than they are in Brazil. Then too, traffic in England moves in the opposite direction that it does in Brazil. English fans are accustomed by instinct to look in the opposite direction for oncoming traffic. Forgetting to look the right way could become dangerous.
PERSPECTIVE
Brazilian Sports Minister Aldo Rebelo says danger is relative:
We all have our tragedies and challenges, serious problems relating to security, but I do not think that the English face greater risks than they see in Iraq or Afghanistan, where they recently lost hundreds of young soldiers.’
More when we spot them…
Transfer Balls: Liverpool Shedding Between 7 And 15 Players, Say Experts
TRANSFER Balls, with the Liverpool squad, So. How are Liverpool going to reshape their squad ready to go one better next time and win the Premier League?
The Western Morning News cites 7 who could be leaving the club.
The Guardian ups that:
The futures of as many as a dozen players are in doubt
Irish Independent says it’s 14 players.
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Transfer Balls: Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United And Maybe Man City And Chelsea All Get Benzema
TRANSFER Balls, with Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema.
The Telegraph, May 14:
Arsenal to launch £30m move for Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema
Will they get him? No!
Daily Star, May 14:
Liverpool favourites to land Karim Benzema as Arsenal prepare to re-sign £3.2m Carlos Vela
So. He’s off to Liverpool.
Daily Mirror, May 14:
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Posted: 15th, May 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment
World Cup Balls: Real Madrid’s Ronaldo In Bear Poops In Woods Scoop
THE BBC online is a newspaper in all but name. It needs coops and link bait like any other paper. So. To the stella BBC ness tory on the summer’s World Cup:
Cristiano Ronaldo selected in provisional Portugal squad
It’s a ballsy punt by the Portuguese management team to pick a shorts model for such an important occasion, but if they think Ronaldo is up to it…
Donald Sterling And The Right To Private Speech
Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling, right, and V. Stiviano, left, watch the Clippers play the Los Angeles Lakers during an NBA preseason basketball game in Los Angeles on Monday, Dec. 19, 2010.
WHEN Donald Sterling’s private phone calls became public knowledge, the media began the feeding frenzy.
Bill Maher took a view:
“Last week when President Obama was asked about the Sterling episode, he said, ‘When ignorant folks want to advertise their ignorance, just let them talk.’ But Sterling didn’t advertise. He was bugged. And while he may not be worth defending, the 4th Amendment is.”
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Manchester City Balls: Daily Mail Only Counts English Players As Worthy Premier League Winners
WHEN Noel Gallagher confronted the allegation that Manchester City bought the Premier League, we enjoyed his unravelling of those Financial Fair Play rules:
“People have slagged us off with the money and all that. But some of the players who walked past here today are some of the best players in Europe.”
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Posted: 14th, May 2014 | In: Manchester City, Sports | Comment
Chelsea Balls: Blues Sign ‘Dead’ Diego Costa
NEWS that Chelsea have signed Atletio Madrid’s Diego Costa has upset someone at the Goal.com website. Either that or the striker really is dead and Chelsea have struck a blow for equal opportunities employment…
Manchester City Balls: What The Experts Said About Pelligrini, The Foreign Alan Pardew
MANUEL Pelligrini might looks like an accountant apprising a new Jaguar car, but it turns out that he’s a pretty good football manager. His Manchester City have won the Premier League title and League Cup in his first season in charge. So. Time to see what the media experts said of the Chilean:
Manuel Pellegrini is going to be the new manager of Manchester City. And right there is the reason why Manchester United’s appointment of David Moyes was so important for English football.
A coach who has won nothing in Europe, not even in the season when he spent £200million on four players at Real Madrid, will now occupy one of the prime jobs in the Premier League.
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Posted: 12th, May 2014 | In: Manchester City, Sports | Comment (1)
Manchester City And Arsenal Balls: Richard Wright Is The Luckiest Man In Football
Arsenal’s 3 goalkeepers Richard Wright, David Seaman and Stuart Taylor celebrate with the FA Barclaycard Premiership Trophy
Date: 11/05/2002
RICHARD Wright has won two more Premier League winners’ medals than Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard. Surely a future career as media pundit sat by illuminated coffee tables is on the horizon for an English champion.
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Posted: 12th, May 2014 | In: Arsenal, Manchester City, Sports | Comment
Liverpool Balls: The Poor Reds Fans Who Bought Premier League Champions 2014 Shirts
WHAT’S that chirping sound. No. It’s not Jamie Carragher giving more insight on SKY TV (“Sleep cornflakes scouring pad chops medina happy ways on”). It’s the sound of chickens coming home to roost. For a period, the Premier League title looked like Liverpool’s to lose. Which they did, slipping – literally – against Chelsea and seeing a three goal lead undone at Crystal Palace.
A few fans – ones who surely have no memories of 1989 and all that – went out and invested their heard-earned cash in victory shirts.
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Real Football Fans Point And Laugh At Liverpool And Chelsea Players Crying In Public
MANCHESTER City are Champions. Doubtless a few City fans will be weeping tears of joy. Dewey-eyed Liverpool supporters are wondering how it all went wrong. And fans of relegated clubs will be weeping for their loss. The trick is to do your emoting in the bosom of your brothers and sisters in misery or joy. Never let the enemy see your tears. If you do, you will look weak and pathetic. They will point and deride you – just as all fans should mock players who bawl their eyes out on the pitch when they lose.
Here’s a test: do you look at pictures of John Terry crying because his Chelsea didn’t win and:
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Manchester United Balls: US Fans Forced To Watch Red Devils On Science Fiction Channel
THE season is over for plucky Manchester United, who fought back away to earn a drawer against Southampton.
United’s American owners might have caught the game on that side of the Atlantic, where it was broadcast on the…SyFy channel, owned by NBC.
Why SyFy, when NBC also owns Chiller?
Chiller, the recently-launched network from NBCUniversal, is the only cable channel devoted to delivering viewers round-the-clock scares.
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Posted: 11th, May 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Bitter United Fans Fly Anti-Gerrard Banner Over Liverpool
MANCHESTER United fans are looking increasingly bitter and sad.To put the tin lid on a season where the club that for so long has held sway over English football fell to bits – and in which local rivals Manchester City won big – they flew a banner over Anfield.
As Liverpool fans and players watched the Premier League title they had looked well set to capture pass them by, overhead the message mocked Reds captain Steven Gerrard:
Surely, the sign should have read: “United 20 – Liverpool 18.”
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Posted: 11th, May 2014 | In: Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
Arsenal Balls: Wenger And The Monaco Exclusive That Isn’t
ARSENAL were last night rocked as Arsene Wenger was offered the Monaco job. The Gunners boss is out of contract at the end of the season but has still not signed a new deal.
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Chelsea Balls: Kerry Dixon Used To Be A Legal High At The Bridge
KERRY Dixon, formerly of Hitchin Town and Letchworth FC has been arrested on suspicion of trading in cocaine, say reports. Dixon, who played for Reading, Southampton, Luton and Chelsea is, allegedly, the subject of this statement from Bedfordshire Police:
“On Friday (May 2), Bedfordshire Police arrested a 52-year-old man and a 46-year-old woman from Dunstable on suspicion of conspiracy to supply class A drugs. Both were released on police bail with no charge while further enquiries are made.”
Note to new Chelski fans: Dixon was one of your best players before you all got given little plastic flags and they stopped parking cars by the pitch at the once vast Stamford Bridge.
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Liverpool Balls: Professor Robbie Savage Forgets To Remember His Predictions For Everton, Spurs And Arsenal
MAKING predictions to deadline is Robbie Savage’s stock in trade. He is football punditry’s highlighted Mystic Meg.
In the May 8th issue of the Daily Mirror, Savage looks back at his foresight:
“Nobody likes a professor of hindsight, but three months ago in this column I warned that the Reds’ title charge would fall just short because they spring too many leaks away from home.”
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Transfer Balls: Adam Lallana Leaves Manchester United For Liverpool
IS Adam Lallana staying at Southampton? Let’s see what the experts are saying?
The Sun has an “exclusive”:
Kop in £20m bid for Lallana
The Liverpool fans in their famous stand have raised millions to buy the player? No. The story is:
LIVERPOOL have made a £20million swoop for Southampton midfielder Adam Lallana.
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Posted: 9th, May 2014 | In: Liverpool, manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Manchester City Balls: How Yaya Toure Beat Luis Suarez In Two Weeks
HOW tabloid reporting work with the Daily Mirror’s John Cross:
April 18:
Luis Suarez is such a runaway winner as PFA Player of the Year it’s ridiculous. He’s been the best by a mile.
— John Cross (@johncrossmirror) April 18, 2014
Later that day, The Daily Mirror wrote:
Manchester City’s Yaya Toure says being African denies him individual recognition he deserves
On May 5, Cross tweeted:
Luis Suarez is @theofficialfwa Footballer of the Year. I was a bit torn but I voted for Yaya Toure.
— John Cross (@johncrossmirror) May 5, 2014
It’s all about consistency…
Posted: 8th, May 2014 | In: Manchester City, Sports | Comment
