Posts Tagged ‘germany’
So This Is War Bonds
Well, Anorak’s efforts to lead-manage our plan to cheer up the Germans may be too little, too late, but at least we’ve found some more of those Weapons of Mass Financial Destruction; it turns out that the Hypo Bailout Mark 1 sank on the discovery by the commercial banks who were supposed to be funding it that Hypo needed vastly more money than it had admitted to.
Nope, it wasn’t just lending money on garbage to people with no means to repay it, leaving it with a $35 billion hole in its balance sheet, it had issued guarantees to back American municipal bonds that it had sold to investors.
As they always say, the devil is in the details, and these details run to $15 billion owing on those guarantees.
Traditionally the next step is to invade Poland.
The way things are going we may have to upgrade our recommendation from ‘sell’ to ‘run for your lives’…
– Chenier
Posted: 6th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (10)
UK Farms Human Livers, Germany Harvest Funny Bones
IF you could choose a liver door from any country on Earth, which nation would you harvest organs from?
Those living on the Japanese island of Okinawa, the small Sardinian mountain town of Ovodda and Loma Linda in the US are the world’s longest living. So any of them would be top of most people’s lists.
So listen up as David Mayer, chairman of UK Transplant’s Liver Advisory Group, says:
“If we were to provide livers for the world from the UK, then UK patients would be enormously disadvantaged.”
Well, yes. We would have no livers, ours being a nation of some 60million, and the rest of the world having far more bodies to fill with offal. And what with our binge drinking, you’d think the demand just wouldn’t be there. The UK as the world’s liver farming would be like the Germans farming funny bones.
But here’s Professor Nigel Heaton, head of the transplant unit at King’s College Hospital, London, transplanting part of an adult British liver into a boy from one of the Gulf states.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 5th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (6)
Ode To Pay: Germans Say Friedrich Schiller Must Pay
DEAR Friedrich Schiller, though you have been dead for more than 200 years, and never watched television, we remind you that you should pay your TV and radio licence fee.
Das ist alles.
Schiller is, of course, the writer of Ode To Joy (An die Freude), on which the anthem of the European Union is based. He is also a non-payer of the German licence fee, and the German fee collection agency, GEZ, says he must pay.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (7)
Police Order Woman To Knit Her Punishment
POLICE LOG: Crime in the news…
Jumpers For Tyres:
An 89-year-old grandmother who went on a tyre-wrecking spree in her street has been ordered to knit jumpers for her victims.
Heidi Kohl, from western Germany, was arrested after one neighbour spotted her slashing the tyres on a car. She later confessed that she had resorted to drastic measures after becoming “fed up” with so many drivers parking in her neighbourhood.
Kohl was initially told that she would be fined for her behaviour, but authorities came up with the more unusual punishment after the woman claimed she would be unable to pay.
A spokeswoman confirmed: “When she’s knitted the sweaters, then the matter will be over for us.”
Something in stripes should do it…
Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (8)
Sex Change Youth Kim Petras Sings For Record Label
THIS is Kim Petras, the German boy who at the age of 12 became the world’s youngest person to start hormone treatments for a sex change operation.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Strange But True | Comments (13)
German Boy Floods Dusseldorf In Beer
TO Germany, where a German teenager is due before the Beak, accused of flooding a Düsseldorf arena with beer.
The boy, now aged 15-year-old, allegedly broke into the LTU Arena with a friend and opened three taps in the VIP seating area in October 2006, when he was just 13-years-old.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (5)
Road Hog: Pig Loving German Vegetarian Crashes Into Pig Truck
WHEN pigs attack vegetarians. When vegetarians attack pigs. Consider the evidence. To Germany:
The
sight of a truckload of pigs headed for the sausage factory proved too much to bear for a German vegetarian woman who lost control of her vehicle as a result. Unfortunately, she crashed into another truck carrying pigs.
A road hog…
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comments (8)
Spare Rib: German Butchers Say Eat More Women
SAYS the sign on the side of the butcher’s van: “Meat Products, Fresh Service”. The legend is illustrated by the image of a naked woman.
Germany’s national advertising council says the adverts by G&M Fleischwaren Frischdienst are degrading and anti-woman.
“Such an advert blatantly violates the council’s codes on discrimination and degradation in advertising,” says the council. “
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 13th, September 2008 | In: Online-PR, Strange But True | Comments (4)
