Daily Wail: Swiss Fall Into Black Hole, Princess Diana Never Went Away And Skin Disease
THE Daily Mail searches horro stories, medical reports and research notes for news, and finally its quest bears dividends:
MONDAY:
“Are we on the eve of destruction?” – It’s the Large Hadron Collider. It’s the “man-made black hole ‘could swallow the Earth’”. It’s on the French-Swiss border. So at least they’ll get it first…
“CREDIT CRUNCH WILL SEND CRIME SOARING – crime, violent, illegal working and even terrorist numbers will surge because of the economic downturn” - Good news for villains!
“No crunch threatens your home in the sun” – drug-crazed arsonist Spaniards seeking revenge?
“Hospital gave me caesarean without pain relief” – A mother’s non-epidural epidural saves NHS fortune
“MY TWO DOOMED DARLINGS – It’s the photo that breaks film giant Richard Attenborough’s heart – Diana the Princess he befriended, with Lucy, the granddaughter he adored. One would die in that Paris crash, the other in the tsunami. In our first extract from his moving memoirs, he reveals how their loss shattered him”
Part 2: “Why I just HATE being called Dickie”
Dickie…
”Vet’s warning over additives in pet food” – Like bits of rabbit fur, cow eyelid and non-organic wheat
“Can perfume make your unborn baby infertile?” – If you drink it, maybe…
“HAS YOUR HOLIDAY WRECKED YOUR SKIN? Wrinkles, age spots and sagging… the real cost of summer away could be devastating. So can you run back the clock on your skin?”
No. You are f******, my friend. But might the credit crunch save your skin as you holiday in your wet and windy garden?…
Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Tabloids Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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September 11th, 2008 at 3:00 am
This is the dumbest thing i have ever heard. We are fine as we are, the earth is balanced out with its living structure. why must we be nosy and try to figure out something that is just a theory. we have absolutely no reason to figure out how out earth and the solar system were created. i mean what happened to trying to find out what’s in a black hole. go into space first and figure that out, before you swiss bastards screw us all over and get everyone and everything killed. i don’t blame those men for filing a lawsuit. this a dumb experiment. and in the even that it doesn’t work. we have wasted billions on this stupid project. i think the swiss need to just drop everything they are doing and realize that the earth is fine and we don’t need to endanger our selfs to figure out something that happened over 10.6 billions years ago. And think about it people. this is coming from a 15 year old. I’m more than positive that adults think its even worse.
September 1st, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Don’t tell the Mail but I fear the horrid rag will yet be our salvation. Even this implacable cosmic devourer will choke to death when it eats the Daily Mail offices. Sadly we’ll have lost most of The South East of England by then - and we’ll all no doubt, every man-jack of us, have to buy the surviving staff members a bastard drink or something.
Daily Mail’s an approprie name though. Like 90% of my post I don’t want it, I fear what it represents and it fucking enrages me.
September 1st, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Lets see if I can post on that thread coz it seems I simply cant on the Madeleines and I am starting to be seriously pissed off after the last lost posts
M&A
I have also send an email to ask you whats going on and I have no reply whatsoever
Please,let me know.Thank you
September 1st, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Mr C&C and I just LOVE the Mail and its doom and gloom.
Often contradictory of course.
Eat garlic and live… eat garlic and die…. drink coffee and get fat…. drink coffee and get thin…
Brilliant.