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Susan Boyle Presents The X Factor

by | 8th, May 2009
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susan-boyle-pancake HATS off to X Factor host Dermot O’Leary for promoting his talentless fest by way of Susan Boyle , of Britain’s Got Talent fame.

The Sun hears “straight-talking O’Leary” literally opine:

“I’d like to think Susan would have been a success on X Factor, but in reality it’s most likely she wouldn’t have. Sure, she has a great voice but she’d probably struggle with the dancing and the variety of songs contestants have to sing.”

Variety is O’Leary’s byword, literally. He is literally right, and literally can you believe it?! fronting a show that has produced such luminary and varied talents as Steve Brookstein, Shayne Ward, Leon Jackson and Alexandra Burke (all show winners).

The one shining light has been Leona Lewis, who so sooner won than put as much distance between herself and the party piece by jetting off to America.

The X–Factor is a singing show, as Dermot and his barrage of judges are at pains to remind everyone, which is why when Britney Spears appeared she mimed and moved like a drunk Hen Night in Swansea, causing Simon Cowell to offer up get this:

“It’s Britney Spears. So everyone’s got to up their game tonight.”

And here’s literally Dermot O’Leary, literally:

“We get people all the time auditioning with good musical and classical voices, but they all fall at the hurdle before we even get to the studio stage of the show. And even if Susan did get through she would probably only get through one round of X Factor.”

Because she looks like Dennis Healey waiting to use a portaloo and the X Factory is a paean to shiny things on sticks?

Because the X Factor is a show that rips all the fun, rebellion and spontaneity from pop music and turns into a thing that can be graded in a school report by

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Posted: 8th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink