Tiger Woods Car Crash: Elin Nodegren’s Kobe Grip And Rachel Uchitel Denies
EVER since Tiger Woods crashed his car into a tree golfers have been celebrating the news that golf is not a boring sport for misogynists on milk floats. Golf is edgy and dangerous. Golf writers have been weeping for joy that finally they can write about something other than a ball going into a hole and how a grown man shakes hands with his wood.
The story so far, featuring swimsuit-clad Elin Nordegren and not Rachel Uchitel: The Tiger Woods minor car crash news round-up
Daily Express (front page): “Police to interview Tiger’s wife Elin over his mystery car crash”
No need, coppers because over on the Daily Mail’s front page we learn:
“I’m to blame, not my wife, says Tiger”
But what can we blame him for – turning Roger Federer into the world’s dullest sporstman and inviting the Swiss ace’s wife to test those racket strings against his car windscreen? (Yesterday, police spokesman Kim Montes said both rear passenger windows on the luxury vehicle had been smashed.) Again the answer comes on another front page, this time the Telegraph’s:
“Breaking cover: The girls said to be Tiger’s birdie”.
No, it’s not Tiger’s wife. This is former Pink Elephant parking employee Rachel Uchitel. She denies any affair with Woods. And that’s the end of the matter. Right? The Mirror’s front page wants more:
“TELLS US THE TRUTH TIGER”
But Tiger has yet to talk to the Florida Highway Patrol:
“The troopers went to the house to see if they could speak with Mr. Woods. Mr. Woods’ attorney was present and told investigators that Mr. Woods was unavailable for an interview. Mr. Wood’s attorney provided the troopers with Mr. Woods’ driver’s license information, registration and current proof of insurance as required by Florida Law. The crash investigation is ongoing and charges are pending.”
Tiger can’t talk right now because he’s on his website, blogging this:
As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore. This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.
This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.
This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.
This is a private matter as Tiger ways on his, er, website. But if you want some public clues, stay focused on Elin Woods’ fingers. No, not for clues on what grip she uses for wielding a golf club, but for sings of bling:
During the phone conversation on Friday, Tiger told his friend, “I have to run to Zales to get a ‘Kobe Special.’” The person on the other end of the phone asked Tiger what a “Kobe Special” was. The reply — “A house on a finger.”
During the conversation, Tiger said his wife had “gone ghetto” on him.
What’s a Kobe?
When Kobe Bryant was accused of touching parts not belonging to Vanessa Bryant, he immediately apologized to his wife by making her finger sparkle like she just gave RPattz a prostate exam.
As for Rachel Uchitel, well, the alleged 19th hole is profiled in the Mail:
Self-destructive party girl who loves married men
Meanwhile, golf writers, whose newsbeat now takes in attractive women and night clubs are thought to be organising a massive “Thank You” card for Tiger…
Posted: 30th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
December 2nd, 2009 at 1:52 am
Here the song d.i.v.o.r.c.e. on the air! If those text messages Ms Grubb has are found to be genuine we will all know that Tiger has been up to something.
December 1st, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Ah! Cheryl not nearly as simple as that.
When Megastars (Barry Humphries’ noun for Dame Edna Everage) whether in sport, entertainment or, famous for being famous, start pocketing megabucks for what they do in public…
then whatever they do in public is very public…it has been that way since Brutus damned Caesar with faint praise and Julius was given several short sharp lessons – in the back.
There is nothing private about a public road car crash which has neighbours phoning 911 nor is a publicly screaming, golf-club-wielding, wife coming to the “rescue” a behind closed doors scenario..
Tiger seems yet to learn the vital celebrity PR lessons: which are:
Nature abhors a vacuum.
When fact and information are missing, innuendo and rumour will fill the gap.
It is better to tell the truth and the whole truth than let a publicist paper over the cracks…
because weak walls mean you lose the whole damn house.
December 1st, 2009 at 8:23 pm
The police are looking for their moment of fame! No criminals charges can be brought against him so no need for him to talk to them. They can give him a ticket for whatever they can come up with – reckless driving, failure to keep his car under control … they’ll come up with something to fine him for to get their money bonus at the end of the month.
AGW, it is a family matter and no one’s business, frankly. What he does on the golf course, that people pay to watch, is a different matter – then he is in the public eye and owes them to do his best. Once he leaves that golf course he becomes a private person. He does not owe the public a damn thing except to do his best on the golf course!
December 1st, 2009 at 7:18 pm
I think Tiger needs to talk to the cops, because the longer he avoids them the more it looks like he’s hiding something, and the more rumors are going to circulate. http://www.newsy.com/videos/tiger_woods_keeps_his_silence
November 30th, 2009 at 7:57 am
Querying the par for a second hole springs to mind:
but, as Tiger whines, it’s a family (extended?) affair.