Kerry Katona Dropped By CAN Associates Wants Ryan Giggs Castrated: Karia Law 4 UK Now!

CAN Associates are no longer repressing Kerry Katona, that face of own-brand ketchups. Poor Kerry. She’s tried to carve herself a niche in the celebrity Petri Dish. There was her showing on Dancing On Ice and her efforts to set up a  version of Sahria law in the UK. Oh, yes, indeed. In her latest OK! column, Katona makes this observation on Manchester United player Ryan Giggs:

“…because they [footballers] earn so much money they think they can put there bits in any woman walking! It’s wrong and Ryan should be castrated. If I was his wife I’d punch his sister-in-law!”

Anorak

Posted: 17th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Can Nicola McLean Make Anorexia Sexy? OK! Investigates

NICOLA McLean, a former pneumatic Page 3 has breasts that look even more out of proportion to the rest of her because she has anorexia.

On the cover of OK!, Nicola cradles her naked chest, pulls on a pair of short denim shorts and turns to face her audience. She may even have tossed back her hair from her face (chin dipped to bare shoulder; eyes raised) to allow nothing to get in the way of her telling us:

“I AM ANOREXIC.”

Nicola’s “eating disorder” might well be “devastating”, but what we want to know is: can it be turn on? Can anorexia be sexy? Can mental illness be alluring?

Anorak

Posted: 8th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Kerry Katona’s Fit For Cocaine Shocker

KERRY Katona’s offensive on the tabloid media continues as the woman famous for taking cocaine and winning a reality TV show and selling frozen squirrels… (did we mention the cocaine?) Illustrates the Star’s front-page poser:

“KERRY: IS SHE FIT TO BE A MUM?”

This will surely lead to other questions as to what else Kerry Katona might be fit for?

Kerry: Is she fit for purpose?

Kerry: Is she fit to snort cocaine?

Kerry: Is she fit?

Kerry: Can she fit into a glass jar and be pickled for posterity?

Kerry: Is she as fit as butcher’s dog?

Having told the world that she took cocaine, the Star hears that people involved in child welfare are not impressed with Kerry. Well, one person isn’t.

Anorak

Posted: 12th, April 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Katie Price Creates The Jordanettes Tribute Act

PETER Andre employs Can Associates PR. Chantelle Houghton employs Can Associates PR. Peter Andre used to be deeply in love with Katie Price, who is no longer represented by Can Associates.

Chantelle Houghton is a bit part Katie Price – literally. If you want to get on, attach yourself to Jordan. Andre and Houghton are the Jordanettes, a Katie Price tribute act.

Anorak

Posted: 6th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)