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Hard man Danny Dyer whipped out his ‘Brighton front’?

When actor Danny Dyer toured the world’s ‘Football Factories’, he hung about with “hard men”. There were hard men all around him. Whether Dyer was a hard man was never made clear, but today the Sun says he might have been when he allegedly ‘sent a picture of his manhood to a starstruck fan’. So routine is the story of famous man sends knob photo to fan we’re surprised signed publicity photos aren’t issued.

 

danny dyer hard

 

The Sun says Danny Dyer ‘sent late-night texts to the young mum’. How young becomes clear in the third paragraph, wherein we learn that the whippersnapper is in her 30s and the alleged todger snapper sent her dirty photos when he was single.

The story continues over two more pages. On page 4 we see Dyer offering us his texting finger, seemingly to pull or sniff. (A kiss ‘n’ smell?) The headline is great: ‘Danny asked for butcher’s at me boat and bottle… then whipped out his Brighton’. It’s fun to play along. A butcher’s is a ‘butcher’s hook’, which is rhyming slang for ‘look’. Her ‘boat’ is her ‘face’ (boat race) and her ‘bottle’ is her ‘arse’ (bottle and glass). News that Dyer has a ‘Brighton sea front’ is worthy of a front-page screamer of its own.

Posted: 24th, February 2017 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment


Argie-Bargy In Hun-derland! Sun and Star slam EastEnders over Eyetie Slur

When Danny Dyer’s character Mick Carter told EastEnders viewers the Queen Vic’s Italian supper was “Eyetie night” he triggered a “race row”. So bad is that the Daily Star, the paper that once cheered for the EDL, is aghast.

“Danny Dyer’s character made a slur against Italians,” trills the paper on its front page. By Page 3 it’s a full-blown “race storm”.  Soap fans are in a state of “fury”. For those readers not au fait with racism and not yet furious, Lauren Clarke tells us, “Eyetie is a derogatory word for Italian people which emerged during World War Two.”

 

danny dyer daily star

The Star

 

The Sun agrees. Danny Dyer is “‘Eyetie’ Order”. “The “insult” is used as “offensive slang” rooted in wartime.

 

The Sun danny dyer

The Sun

 

Eyetie’s a bit like kraut, a slang term for Germans, which is a bit like ‘Hun’ or ‘Jerries’ – or Argie, a way of talking about Argentineans, which may or not be derogatory depending on what paper you read:

These are few articles in the racially sensitive Daily Star:

 

the sun the hun

 

argie daily star

 

daily star argie

 

daily star kraut

 

And in the Sun:

 

the sun yanks

the sun krauts jerries hun

 

Zuch are zer facts.

Posted: 13th, January 2017 | In: Key Posts, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


The entire first season of Danny Dyer’s The Real Football Factories in one 60 second chunk

“I edited the entire first season of Danny Dyer’s The Real Football Factories into one 60 second chunk,” tweets ‏@AchinglyChic.

It’s brilliant:

Posted: 30th, September 2016 | In: Celebrities, Sports, TV & Radio | Comment


Danny Dyer should write his own EastEnders scripts and freak his nut out

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DANNY Dyer is the new King of the EastEnders Queen Vic. Here’s hoping he’s writing his own scripts. As his self-penned tweet of the anniversary of 9/11 proves, he has a way with words:

 “Can’t believe it’s been nearly 11 years since them slags smashed into the twin towers. It still freaks my nut out to this day.”

‘Ave it!

Posted: 3rd, October 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Pie and Mash saved the world: the stars who love the traditional cockney staple

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PIE and Mash, the traditional cockney staple, is under threat. An ageing fan base, coupled with a shortage of eels, has accelerated the decline of the traditional eel and pie shop.

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Posted: 17th, September 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (3)


Pimp Premiere In Pictures: Danny Dyer’s Shallow Grave

TO the premiere of Pimp in Soho, where Dyer-bolical genital torcher Danny Dyer is trying to bury the British film industry in a grave so shallow it makes the average adolescent boy’s daydreams look like Stephen Hawking’s morning porridge. We looked out for actual pimps arriving to spot the likes of Unibond Division 1 liggers Bex Shiner, Sophie Reade, Bianca Gascoigne, Imogen Thomas, Alicia Douvall and Javine Hylton. And then tried to work out who would hire the talent..?

Alicia Douvall (NSFW)

Posted: 20th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Danny Dyer: How To Set Your Lover’s Genitals On Fire And Other Tips

DANNY Dyer’s is no longer Zoo’s Agony Aunt (emphasis on agony) – having advised a reader to cut his ex-lover’s face. But the biggest shocker is not that Dayer does not write his column:

“This is totally out of order, I am totally devastated. I have been completely misquoted. This is not the advice I would give any member of the public. I do not condone violence against women.”

But that the reader who wrote in for Dyer’s advice exists. He’s called Alex Woolliscroft. And he tells the Guardian:

“It does change my view of the magazine for printing it and the man. I did it because I wanted some advice. His advice was a bit sick. I was with the girl for a year and would never think about trying to hurt her.”

Wonder if Alex or any other Zoo readers took note of Dyer’s column when he advised John in Glasgow to set fire to his lover’s vagina?

Image

Posted: 8th, May 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment


Danny Dyer’s Tips For Slashing Hiram Monserrate In A Broken Bottle Fight

DANNY Dyer says slashing your ex-girlfriend’s face is fine if she dumps you and is having fun with someone else. You can see our photos of Dyer being throttled here.

And read Aunty Danny’s tips in Zoo magazine.

And if you’re in the US, you can watch Hiram Monserrate, the chap who lost his state senate seat after slashing his girlfriend’s face with broken glass, get punched in the face.

Hamilton Nolan says:

Hiram Monserrate got himself some nice attention yesterday when he announced that he’ll be fighting in a charity boxing tournament to raise money for autism. Mostly the attention was like, “Seriously, boxing is your first public act after the whole wife-slashing thing?” But still, attention.

Here’s Danny – who remains a blunt instrument.

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Actor Danny Dyer is held in a neck lock by Sergeant Richard Harley, Physical Training Instructor with the Royal Marines, during weapons and combat training in Cobham, Kent, in preparation for the filming of a World War II movie, Age of Heroes.

Posted: 5th, May 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment


Danny Dyer’s Agonising Agony Aunt In Zoo

IN this week’s Zoo, Danny Dyer is putting the agony in agony aunt. A readers writes that his lover had left him and she seems to be doing fine.

Click image to make it grow.

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Posted: 5th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Pictures Of Danny Dyer Being Throttled: Age Of Heroes

WE went along to see Danny Dyer being throttled. Whaddyamean you’d have paid a few nicker for the ‘ows’ yer fathers, know what I means?! Luverly. We spotted Dyer being encased in a neck lock by Sergeant Richard Harley, Physical Training Instructor with the Royal Marines, during weapons and combat training in Cobham, Kent, in preparation for the filming of a World War II movie, Age of Heroes. Danny likes to hang about with hard men. The harder the men, the better. Do you like your men hard? Throttling is a bit like auto-erotic asphyxiation, in uniform… It’s well ‘ard!

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Picture 1 of 9

Actor Danny Dyer is held in a neck lock by Sergeant Richard Harley, Physical Training Instructor with the Royal Marines, during weapons and combat training in Cobham, Kent, in preparation for the filming of a World War II movie, Age of Heroes.

Posted: 30th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Stacey Solomon And Danny Dyer Presents The Malice In Wonderland Permier: Pictures

TO the premier of Malice In Wonderland – a film in which an American law student is run over by a London cab, wakes with amnesia and to find herself tours haunts frequented by no-marks. At the premier we spotted Bianca Gascoigne, Danny Dyer (nominative determinism)  and Stacey Solomon. Life and art and all that:

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Bianca Gascoigne arrives at the premiere of Malice in Wonderland, at the Prince Charles cinema in Leicester Square, central London.

Posted: 4th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Celebity Big Brother: Danny Dyer Misses Out To Vinnie Jones

DANNY Dyer – star of films about soccer hard men and All Star Mr & Mrs – tells Zoo magazine readers that “Vinnie Jones must have had a huge tax bill. He’s sitting in a house with a bird who slept with Ronnie Wood and an idiot who’s rumping Jordan, so that’s the only reason he can be there.

Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)

If there one thing sadder than a celeb writing about Big Brother it is the celeb not even being on Big Brother and speaking in 1950s Cockney English.

“He’s a cut above the others in fame terms. Mind you, that’s not hard. You could put the Chuckle Brothers in and they’d be a cut above everyone else.”

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Posted: 12th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Susan Boyle Extends Her Sympathies To Gordon Brown

susan-boyle-nutsSUSAN Boyle Watch: Anorak’s-at-a-glance look at Susan Boyle in the news – featuring the madness of Susan Boyle, Gordon Brown and Britain Wot Talent?

You Scum!

Today she’s in a London psychiatric clinic, suffering from “emotional exhaustion.” Thanks to us – Lauren Beckham Falcone, Boston Herald

Turning Her Back On Fame

“She told me that after the final, she wants to come back and resume her previous life,” one of Boyle’s neighbours, 24-year-old housewife Vicky McLean, told the Mail on Sunday newspaper.

“She doesn’t want to make millions and go to America, she just wants to sing. I think all she really hopes to have out of it is enough money to buy her house”AFP

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Posted: 4th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)