Posts Tagged ‘funny’
Forgers walks free from court after fake lawyer presented bogus documents
New from India’s Mumbai Mirror. The language is as lovely as the story. The duplicitous talents of these guys who made false passports and government documents makes the news.
Two men, who worked in tandem faking government documents and scamming people, used their duplicitous talent to secure bail from a court in the Mumbai Metropolitan Region of Thane, India, last month. The duo, Bashir Mulla, 62, and Mohammed Lukman Shaikh, 48, managed to fool the court by securing bail through fake documents signed by non-existent police officers and guarantors. It is suspected that the lawyer who represented them in the court too was an impostor.
Thane police says there are no traces of the two.
Mr and Mrs Smythe-Jones
Vijay Sanap, a constable attached to Srinagar police station in Thane, explains:
“I have to maintain a record of the accused granted bail by the court, do verification of witnesses by the police station and keep track of the dates of the cases. I knew the court had issued a bail order for the two accused last month but they could not be released as the verification of the guarantors was pending. There is a procedure where the witnesses’ record is checked and only then can the accused be released. This (the bail hearing) was on July 20,” said Sanap. He said, “After that, there was no mention of the case. Three days back, when I was going through the case diary.
“I saw a paper which said that both the accused had been released. The document was signed by senior inspector Kaarkar of Srinagar police station and submitted by one constable RS Patil. As I myself am attached to the same police station I know that there is no one called Patil there and also the name of the senior inspector was different. I enquired with the Srinagar police station and found out that the verification order had not yet reached them, and hence they had not yet approved the release order. They had no idea of the accused having been released.” Sanap then asked the police station to check the papers and then it dawned on all that the two guarantors who had signed the document were fake. The guarantors, Santosh Dongre and Sakharam Khude, were as non-existent as were the constable and the senior inspector who signed their release documents. Also the rubber stamps of the police station were fake.”
The duplicitous duo remain on the lam.
Posted: 23rd, August 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment
Butt Fuchs: the backbone of Germany’s Olympic hockey team
Obviously, it would be hugely childish & wrong to laugh at Linus & Florian, the backbone of Germany’s hockey team, aka Butt and Fuchs:
Spotter: Ruth Davidson
Lidl Britain crisis: nuts might not contain nuts
The country is in crisis. The Telegraph reports on a consumer panic:
German discounter Lidl is removing its brand of fruit yoghurts and honey peanuts from the shelves because it fails to tell customers they might contain milk and peanuts.
Only ‘might’? Not ‘do’. Supermarkets are hedging their bets.
What else might a pot of yoghurt or packet of nuts contain? Pretty much anything, right?
Posted: 1st, August 2016 | In: Broadsheets, Reviews | Comment
Mick Jagger and David Bowie perform Dancing In The Street without music
Happy birthday, Mick Jagger, born on this day 1943. Here is the Rolling Stones singer performing Dancing in The Street with David Bowie.
Posted: 26th, July 2016 | In: Celebrities, Music | Comment
Other parents: baby niece pukes in uncle’s mouth (video)
Other Uncles (a chapter of Other Parents – Anorak’s look at those other parents we deride and pity) spots Chris Swann from Birmingham, England, and his young niece, nine-months-old Alice. At his grandparents’ home Chris played with his sister Elizabeth’s bundle of joy.
They even shared a meal:
Posted: 26th, June 2016 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
This is what happens when you vape world’s hottest chilli pepper
Russell Hawkins cultivates the Carolina Reaper chilli pepper – the world’s hottest vegetable. Hawkins thought it a worthwhile experiment to see what happens if he vaped the red-hot chilli pepper and rubbed the stuff in his eyes.
The action warms up after the third minute:
Spotter: Geekologie
Posted: 19th, June 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment
Omar Mateen: Hillary Clinton says anyone investigated by FBI is presumed guilty
Hilary Clinton notes that the FBI had Omar Mateen in their sights. Mateen murdered 49 people at an Orlando gay club. Clinton is mazed that Mateen was able to buy a gun. She says anoyine under FBI investigation should be presumed guilty.
As one wag notes: “If the FBI is searching your emails for suspected highly classified security leaks, you shouldn’t be able to campaign for the presidency with no questions asked by the Media.
Posted: 14th, June 2016 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment (1)
Butcher promises: ‘Eating bacon reduces your chance of being a suicide bomber by 100%’
To New South Wales, Australia, where butcher Jeff Rapley from Naroomais talking about the sign in his shop window that promises, “Eating two strips of Rapley’s award-winning bacon for breakfast reduces your chance of being a suicide bomber by 100%.”
He fails to “or your money back!” but Jeff does add that he meant no offence and “no particular religion was mentioned“. “I’m definitely not a racist and didn’t mean for it to cause offence,” says Jeff.
The Vegan Militia has yet to respond.
Posted: 25th, May 2016 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment
Woman’s Obituary: ‘I died rather than vote for Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump’
Marry Anne Noland’s obituary was published in Virginia’s The Richmond Times. She’d rather die than vote for Clinton or Trump:
NOLAND, Mary Anne Alfriend. Faced with the prospect of voting for either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, Mary Anne Noland of Richmond chose, instead, to pass into the eternal love of God on Sunday, May 15, 2016, at the age of 68.
Posted: 18th, May 2016 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment
‘Die Queen’: Der Spiegel writes awkward headline
Der Spiegel has words for Her Majesty:
Prince Charles is away…
Spotter: YoungVulgarian
Posted: 11th, April 2016 | In: Reviews, Royal Family | Comment
Airport Authority of India orders: ‘No Eating Carpet’
The Airport Authority of India is an equal opportunities employer.
Posted: 11th, April 2016 | In: Strange But True | Comment
‘Chris is Risen’: Jesus is rebranded in York
Let us pray for Acomb Parish Church, in York, where “Chris is Risen”.
Says Assistant Curate Ned Lunn: “The pastor at the Baptist Church is actually called Chris. He’s got to get up for a sunrise service at 6.30am on Easter Sunday. His predecessor didn’t manage to get up for the service last year.”
Posted: 27th, March 2016 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment
YouTube closes down for the night
A video created by@EddieRobson and Mal Franks.
Posted: 22nd, March 2016 | In: TV & Radio | Comment
Find your personality in your poo with this handy chart
Expanded Bristol Stool Chart with Personality Typing.
Posted: 13th, March 2016 | In: Strange But True | Comment
