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Jack Tweed’s Suicide Watch With Jade Goody

mary-tweedJACK Tweed says he wants to kill himself. In “JACK: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF”, the News of The World places Mr Jade Goody on suicide watch – “nor death shall us part”.

Beneath a picture of Tweed, readers are told:

QUIET NIGHT IN: Prison beans and orange squash is far from Jack Tweed’s usual Champagne style

One would venture that Tweed is sipping on “prison orange squash”. But we should not interrupt the facts as Jack’s mum, Mary Tweed, tells her story to the tabloids, and so – finally! – welcomes a bona fide outlet of Jade Goody Industries.

THE distraught mum of rape charge widower Jack Tweed told yesterday of her torment at seeing her “baby” in prison and hearing him threaten to take his own life.

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Posted: 27th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Jade Goody’s Jack Tweed Is On Suicide Watch

BERFORE we get to the news that “Fragile” Jack Tweed, Mr Jade Goody, is on “suicide lag wing”, we introduce Sun scribes JAMES CLENCH and ANDY CRICK to nominative determinalism.

Clench and Crick tell us:

FRAGILE Jack Tweed has been locked in a tough jail’s secure hospital wing to protect him from hard-case lags, we can reveal. Bosses at Chelmsford Prison have put the terrified 21-year-old in a single cell alongside inmates on suicide watch amid fears he will be targeted.

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Posted: 16th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (13)

CPF Bust Heather Locklear

TMZ reports that Heather Locklear was pulled over while driving in the Santa Barbara area, and the Celebrity Police Force are “conducting tests to determine if Locklear was under the influence of drugs”.

And if not, why not?

And here’s the rub:

This could set up a bizarre custody battle given that Locklear and ex-hubby Richie Sambora have both been busted for similar charges.

Sambora pleaded no contest to DUI back in Marc…

Bizzare, how? Do we see who the CPF spends more time with and give them the child..?

Posted: 28th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment