Anorak News | Jade Goody: Prime Minister Max Clifford, A Film And A Hammer

Jade Goody: Prime Minister Max Clifford, A Film And A Hammer

by | 9th, March 2009

JADE Goody celebrity cancer: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s celebrity cancer with the Christening, featuring the film, Goody Gracious Me, a hammer and Noel Gallagher wants Max Clifford for Prime Minister…



Speaking Hindu? Chanting?

It was the terrifying moment no weak and vulnerable cancer patient should ever have to suffer as they bravely face their final days.

Cameras at your bedside? A visit from Max Clifford? People staring?

Dying Jade Goody woke in her hospital bed expecting to see members of her family, friends or a caring nurse – instead she was confronted by a stranger with a hammer. The startled 27-year-old yelled out in fear as the middle-aged woman leant over her muttering incoherently and acting strange.


Nurses rushed to Jade’s aid and her tormentor was led away by security. When police arrived and searched the intruder, they found she was carrying a hammer. The woman, thought to be French and in her 40s, was arrested. She was last night being quizzed over the frightening ordeal.

Says a source:

“She could have done anything to Jade. It has really shaken everyone up. Jack is determined to make sure Jade gets better security so she does not have anyone bothering her or anything else to worry about. She has enough problems without this.”

Can Max help? Says he:

“The two things she said to me were she wanted to get married and have the christening and she has done them both.”

Thanks, Max.

Husband Jack Tweed has stepped up security around her room at the Royal Marsden hospital, West London.

It was self-defence, yer honour.

The Sun: “Hammer Nut Breaks Into Jade’s Room”

Daily Telegraph: “Jade Goody’s story ‘could be made into a Hollywood film’”

The perfect accompaniment to the Goody Gracious Me range of Asian-themed crackers and dips. Anyhow, who’s interested in the film?

Jade Goody’s life story would make a “perfect” Hollywood movie, according to her publicist Max Clifford.

When asked if he thought Jade would make a fitting subject for a statue on The Mall, Clifford said he would try to make happen whatever the people wanted.

Barack Obama, when he visits the Queen, should like that.

The Age: “Hospital intruder leaves dying Jade Goody ‘freaked out’”

The British Big Brother star’s husband, Jack Tweed, had left for a few minutes to get a cup of tea when the intruder went into Ms Goody’s room at the Royal Marsden Hospital in London, the BBC and Daily Mail reported.

While Mr Tweed was gone, Ms Goody woke to find the 41-year-old leaning over her muttering or praying about 3pm on Saturday, Goody’s agent Max Clifford told the BBC.

Or as the Mirror says:

Jade had been chatting to friend Kevin Adams who was visiting her. But he popped out when she fell asleep at 3pm, and the deranged woman slipped in unnoticed.


NINE out of 10 cancer deaths could be prevented after scientists searching for a cure discovered a “missing piece in the jigsaw”.

Researchers in London have made an exciting breakthrough – discovering a way to stop cancer cells spreading.

In a radical departure they concentrated not on stopping tumours -forming, but on singling out the enzyme that allows cancer to spread throughout the body.

This process – called metastasis – is what kills 90 per cent of cancer victims.

Fantastic news. Can..c… Sorry, what was that thingy called again?

The Times: “Noel Gallagher on how Oasis got their groove back – On eve of Falling Down release, the singer on Jack Straw, Jade Goody, depression, drugs, Coldplay, U2 – and jibes from Liam”

“I was watching the TV today and they’re all outside her house,” he says. “There’s a global crisis apparently going on, and it’s ‘Jack Straw, could you have a look at this?’ Max Clifford somehow manages to shape the mood of the nation.

Signals are sent from the site of the original tumour to find other areas for the cancer to set up camp. Its deadly effect has been highlighted by the case of tragic reality TV star Jade Goody…

I mean, I’ve got f*** all against Jade Goody, that’s nothing to do with me. But it bends my head. That, to me, sums up, in one tiny five-minute thing on the news, what an embarrassing place Britain is right now. You might as well shut No 10 Downing Street down and get Max Clifford to run the country.”

If that what you wants, Noel, call Max to discuss it. He’s here to help.

The Independent: “Bet on Julie”

Despite lacking her namesake’s exquisitely personal touch, Julie Burchill’s Sun writings continue to delight, and not just for the familiar brilliance of her prose. First she lacerated those who dismissed Jade Goody as a “vile racist” in the paper that coined the phrase and minted it with the profligacy of quantitative easing. Now she delivers a vibrant kicking to those who supported Mrs Thatcher’s demonisation of the striking miners 25 years ago. It’s hard to know where she can go next in her quest to ridicule The Sun on its own pages, but Paddy Power go even money Bless Those Wapping Refuseniks, and 11-4 against Why I Want To Have Abu Hamza’s Baby.

Jade Goody A Reader Apology: Exclusive To All Newspapers

Posted: 9th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (17) | TrackBack | Permalink