Anorak News | X Factor: Cheeky Girls Say John And Edward Lack Artistic Value

X Factor: Cheeky Girls Say John And Edward Lack Artistic Value

by | 31st, October 2009

cheeky-girlsWANT to know if Jedward, the X Factor’s John & Edward will make it? And by make it we mean date a minor LibDem MP and invite proctologists, both pro and amateur, to touch their bums.

The Cheeky Girls, the East European siblings who only look like a lap dancers say Jedward will “never make it”. The Cheeky Girls say John & Edward lack the “artistic value” to make it big in the pop world as singing twins.

But can they get the artistic value, or at least a small pair of knickers?

Monica and Gabriela Irimia arose to your attention to Popstars, the X Factor forerunner that created will Young, Gareth Gates and Girls Aloud.

Says Gabriella:

“The thing is, John and Edward are great for entertainment but they don’t have any bigger artistic value. I’m not sure they are going to be able to establish themselves and survive in the music industry.”

Not that the smuci industry ahs anything to do with music. The chekky Girls are using John & Edward to drum up publicity for their debut range of make-up and perfume.

You too can now paint your face in the manner of a gibbon with a felt tip,  and smell like one too. To go with the perfume’s top notes of spray tan and Preparation H, there’s the newssingle called Miniskirt.

Says Monica:

“Our top tip is to go for lots of sparkle. But if you go dramatic with your eyes, go for lighter on the lips.”

And slap it on the cheeks…

Spotter: Bat E Bird

Posted: 31st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink