London Undergound Announcer Tells Passengers To Commit Suicide
A LONDON Underground worker is advising passengers, sorry, customers to shoot themselves. No need to head to Stockwell Tube and hope that the police shoot you. Or wait to be pushed under a train. Just do it yourself. Minimise the risk of failure. Says the voice from above at Farringdon Tube station:
“You’ve got two options – apart from shooting yourself, and who could blame you?”
The passenger brightens up. A kindred spirit. He cares. He really cares! Although if suicide is the option, I’d suggest Burnt Oak on a wet Sunday night.
“Is this what having a nervous breakdown feels like” and “You’ve got two options – apart from shooting yourself, and who could blame you.”
Adding:
“You wouldn’t believe that my manager insinuated to me that I didn’t communicate to passengers, would you.”
The train is delayed.
“For those eastbound passengers who are frustrated… and let’s be honest passengers, who wouldn’t be? Is this what having a nervous breakdown feels like?”
Adding:
“Once again I do apologise for the disruption to your journey this morning, it has upset me easily as much as it has upset you. Do trust me, that is coming from the heart.”
Why the delay?
“That’s the reason you have been delayed and that is why you are listening to me.”
This is the future: Gallows humour. What we need is to hear the dread whine of Bob Crowe, Bolshie RMT chief, reading aloud the minutes of meetings with “management” played over the sound of German marching songs. They’ll listen for hours
Posted: 12th, December 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
