Anorak News | Coco Pops Sales Plummet As Jedward’s Stupid Faces Adorn Box

Coco Pops Sales Plummet As Jedward’s Stupid Faces Adorn Box

by | 11th, April 2011

COCO Pops are the cereal of the cheeky monkey child. Coco The Monkey has always embodied that vague notion of wacky rebellion, essentially being the spokessimian for those sticking two fingers up at those who say you can’t eat chocolate for your breakfast.

Of course, adults like to secretly gorge on Coco Pops even though they tell everyone in the office that they eat boring things like muesli and that most hideous of constructs, the ‘graze box’.

However, that’s all about to change as Kellogg’s have done something so incredibly stupid that we’ll probably see the end of Coco Pops existing as a thing.

They’ve only decided to replace the innocent cereal Dennis The Menace-esque japery of Coco The Monkey with bloody Jedward to provide us with what appears to be the birth of utterly talentless breakfast meals.

The former X Factorists have, astonishingly, been given £180,000 to front the brand and, worse still, there’s a very strong chance that they’re about to record a jingle for the now beleaguered foodstuff.

It’s fair to say that the illusion that it turns the milk chocolatey is already dead with children now preferring to stare blankly at their breakfast and wonder why they’ve been faced with a transparent bowl of shit.

One of the mind-melting twins (it really doesn’t matter which one) says:

“When you walk into the shop all you will see is our faces and kids will be begging their parents to buy us. That’s going to be cool.”

Or, if you prefer, it’ll be absolutely chilling.

Obviously, our heart goes out to Coco The Monkey who is now faced with a long, painful life of alcohol dependency and bad one-night stands with other forgotten mascots such as the creatures from the Um Bongo packets and Teddy Ruxpin.


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Posted: 11th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | TrackBack | Permalink