Anorak News | Kerry Katona Is Not Pregnant And Living By A Drugs Dealer In Warrington

Kerry Katona Is Not Pregnant And Living By A Drugs Dealer In Warrington

by | 3rd, July 2011

KERRY Katona is “desperate“. Not our judgement but that of the News of The World which says “DESPERATE Kerry Katona is back with her Take Me Out ex Dan Foden and is moving to Warrington to be near him“. Desperate might become Kerry’s epithet, a word that leads her name – see “rubber-faced comic” Rowan Atkinson; “troubled” Britney Spears’; “lying” Tony Blair; “nation’s sweetheart” Cheryl Cole and so on…

As for Kerry and Dan being back together, you may recall back in April 2007, when she said:

“It’s still early days with Dan and it’s so nice to keeping it all to myself!… I’m just keeping it quiet for now and enjoying it.”

You may also recall Dan, who appeared as contestant on a Saturday night telly show, telling a, er, celebrity magazine:

“Kerry’s world is just too mad. She’s a lovely girl but I can’t live in that showbiz bubble. The people around her are friends, but they are not real friends, if you know what I mean.”

Dan went on to say that the “eight-week fling” Kerry’s sources spoke of was two dates. She said that he told her:

“I can’t handle this world, I’m not mature enough for it.”

So, mindful of all that irony, here’s today’s story:

One friend said: “Kerry is infatuated with Dan. She’s in contact with him non-stop and is convinced it will work this time. But he’s already sold a story on her and we don’t believe he is genuine. He wants to be famous and is toying with her emotions. Kerry will never learn.”

Kerry Katona’s career is now about negatives. She has no money. She has no home. She is talking about not going out with Dan. Also, Kerry Katona is not taking drugs. As the paper tells us:

Last week mum-of- four Kerry also took a drugs test for the News of the World to prove she wasn’t on anything. The results are due soon and we’ll reveal them next week.

In the coming weeks, look out for Kerry Katona taking a pregnancy test to show us that she is not pregnant; drinking a diuretic to show us that she’s not retaining water; eating a Subway bolognese sandwich to show us that she is not wheat intolerant; trying to tame lions to show us that she is not good with animals; and so on…


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Posted: 3rd, July 2011 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink