Anorak News | Yovanka Bryant is here to milk the zombie cannibal crisis – Rudy Eugene was a saint

Yovanka Bryant is here to milk the zombie cannibal crisis – Rudy Eugene was a saint

by | 7th, June 2012

MEET Yovanka Bryant and her lawyer, the ubiquitous Gloria Allred. Bryant’s claim to fame is that she dated Rudy Eugene, the man killed by police as she chewed the face off Ronald Poppo in Miami (photos NSFW).

Allred is there to “help her have a voice”.

And what do we learn? Well, we hear that Bryant says that Eugene, whom she dated for four months, would have been a great dad to her kids. Bryant says the happy couple studied the Bible and the Koran, and watched religious TV programs. She says she never saw him use drugs. She says if he was on drugs, he was tricked into taking them. Reports are that Eugene had marijuana in his system, and had form for possession.

Says Allred:

“She had no warning whatsoever that Mr. Eugene would have ever engaged in cannibalism. Had she had any indication that Mr. Eugene could or would engage in an act of cannibalism she would never have allowed him around her three children.”


“She was not and is not a suspect in this matter.”

Where’s Allred going with this? She adds:

“In addition, Yovonka and I are very concerned about the issue of cannibalism and the number of cases that are being reported in other states and countries, such as Alabama, Canada, Maryland, Japan and Sweden.”

And there is it. Not only is Bryant of no interest to the police, says Allred, but she is, moverover, the voice of the global anti-Zombie crusade. Allred continues:

“It is very important that the social taboo and stigma that have long been attached to this subject continues and that society condemns cannibalism, rather than trivializing it or glamorizing it.”

You see , kids, eating the faces off people is not cool. Really. Feel free to share your experiences with the group.

In other facts, the Daily Telegraph says Bryant is 31. She’s 27 in the Mail. Yovanka Bryant might get younger as the story grows.

Bryant then tells us:

“In his presence, his smile alone just uplifted my spirit … I truly did not have a care in the world when I was with him.”

The man was a saint. Right up until the mopment he ate a man’s face, Rudy was ace.

As we gaze upon the supplied photo of Eugene and Bryant kissing – note to investigators: he does not eat her face – the story builds. WPTV reports:

The tragic face-eating attack in Miami last week has another casualty: business for shaved ice truck Zombie Ice. Carlos Fierro, owner of Weston-based food truck, said his business has dropped since the attack. “That guy was a cannibal, not a zombie,” said Fierro. “People think I named my business after all that – of course I didn’t.”

The Daily Mail then wodners is Allred is right and a zombie face-eating craze has hit the world?

Is Cloud Nine behind the ‘zombie apocalypse’? Police issue warning about new drug after TWO more cannibal attacks

Racehel Quigley cites two examples of zombie cannibals:

1. Brandon De Leon, 21, told police who had arrested him for disturbing the peace: “I’m going to eat you.” He then gnashed his teeth.

2. Carl Jacquneaux, 43, bit the face of a man he was fighting with.

Anorak would add another name to the zombie apocalypse:

3. Vinnie Jones – In 1995, the footballer bit the nose of Daily Mirror reporter Ted Oliver in Dublin’s Jury’s Inn hotel. Vinnie later admitted to biting the noses of “three or four people” during his youth, explaining: “I bit them for the craic.”

Mike Tyson was unavailable for comment.

Such are the facts…

Posted: 7th, June 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink