Anorak News | Robin Van Persie aims to bring back glory days for his beloved Arsenal by playing for a different club

Robin Van Persie aims to bring back glory days for his beloved Arsenal by playing for a different club

by | 4th, July 2012

GOODBYE Robin van Persie. You played one full season for Arsenal and then you said you wanted to leave. RVP will not be signing a new contract at the Gunners. He has one year left on his current contract. So. Why is he leaving? Well, the Dutchman has issued a statement. In short,  Robin Van Persie aims to bring back glory days for his beloved Arsenal by playing for a different club. Which club has yet to be decided. Your suggestions, please.

Anyhow, here’s Robin:

‘This is an update for the fans about my current situation.”

Translation: You – my fans –  are the last to know.

“I have kept quiet all this time out of respect and loyalty for the club and as agreed with Mr Gazidis and Mr Wenger, but since there is so much speculation in the media, I think it is fair for you guys to know what’s really going on at the moment.”

I am so loyal that I’m leaving. I also speak like a Hollywood agent.

“As announced earlier this year I had a meeting with the boss and Mr Gazidis after the season. This was a meeting about the club’s future strategy and their policy. Financial terms or a contract have not been discussed, since that is not my priority at all.”

It’s not about the MONEY. It is NOT about money.  IT IS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. (Note to self: Robin. It’s not the money, money, money, money.)

“Personally I have had a great season but my goal has been to win trophies with the team and to bring the club back to its glory days.”

And the way to bring back the glory is to leave. It’s a cunning plan. Watch out for Red Robin scoring own goals or insisting he plays in goal for his new club.

“Out of my huge respect for Mr Wenger, the players and the fans I don’t want to go into any details, but unfortunately in this meeting it has again become clear to me that we in many aspects disagree on the way Arsenal FC should move forward.”

The club does not want glory. The club do not want to win trophies. The club are not like RVP, who has has produced his own fully costed business plan. Arsenal, that bonkers outfit who actually try to spend less money than they get in, have another plan. Sure, they offered him £130,000 a week and a £5m bonus. But its NOT about the money. They needed to offer him more. What that is, he can’t say out of loyalty and respect. But things to consider are: a Manchester City shirt; more money; a Chelsea shirt; more money; a Juventus shirt; more money; a free top-up for his mobile phone; world peace; and more money.

“I’ve thought long and hard about it, but I have decided not to extend my contract. You guys, the fans, have of course the right to disagree with my view and decision and I will always respect your opinions.”

Having not told the fans the facts, of which he tells us there are more he’s not telling us, RVP says he respects the fans, who have a right to know.

“I love the club and the fans, no matter what happens. I have grown up and became a man during my time with Arsenal FC.”

I love you so much that I’m leaving. That’s true love. It’s the love that allows a parent to let a child go. RVP is that parent. Arsenal is that child. It’s time Arsenal stood on their own feet. RVP has taken Arsenal up and down the road on their stabilisers. Now he will give them their true freedom. Spanner! 

“Everybody at the club and the fans have always supported me over the years and I have always given my all (and more) on and off the pitch. I am very proud of being part of this fantastic club for the last eight years.”

He can give more than all. RVP gives 110%. Literally. Unless he’s injured (see seven of eight seasons) in which case he might give anything from 22% to 83%.

“As soon as Mr Gazidis is back from his two-week holiday in America further meetings will follow and I will update you if and when there are more developments.”

He’s on holiday. I love you. But he’s on holiday. Don’t blame me. Blame him. But he’s not even here. He’s off on his holidays in America…

Posted: 4th, July 2012 | In: Key Posts, Sports Comment | TrackBack | Permalink